I keep pulling out of committing to marry even though I want to be married. What should I do?
Question:
I am a man in my thirties. I wanted to settle down for the past few years now. I find it hard to find the right girl that suits me, though I can say that I am quite popular with girls. I am always finding things that I am not really satisfied with; this is a problem, I know! I know there is no custom made girl for me, but both my heart and mind are pulling me out of a commitment to marriage. What should I do? Just accept one and marry her? Would love come after marriage?
Answer:
Many people search to feel love for someone else. But God teaches that love is a decision, a commitment on a person's part. See "Love Is ..." for details. When you are committed to a person, the feelings of love develop, but the feeling is not the actual love.
It sounds as if you like your lifestyle and are having difficulty making the compromises necessary to add another person into your life. Or perhaps you are enjoying the options and don't want to limit yourself. Whatever it may be, marriage is about choosing to put someone else ahead of your own desires, and that is hard to do when you've lived your life mostly focused on yourself.
