I found out my girlfriend used to have a thing for one of her teachers
Question:
I was searching the web earlier today trying to figure out if I should be mad about something or not. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. We've had our ups and downs. A lot of them I would say.
She had a thing when we first dated. There were rumors about her and her teacher. They texted back and forth. She told me before that nothing happened and I believed her. Just today we got a letter in the mail about the same situation that happened about a year ago. She came out and told me everything. She hid it all away from me. She did text the teacher back and admitted she had a thing for him.
I just don't know how I feel about it. I love her to death but can't help thinking differently about her now. I'm asking if I should just let the past stay in the past. I trust her and she trusts me. I just really need help. I don't want to lose her, but I just don't feel the same anymore. Please help me. I just want to talk to someone about this.
Answer:
While you say that you trust each other, what you describe is a loss of trust. She lied to you when you asked about the rumors. While you believe she told you everything, I suspect there is some doubt whether you really know everything that went on. Was it just texts, or did more occur?
Love "believes all things" (I Corinthians 13:7), but the basis of your trust has been undermined. On top of this, it sounds like the two of you have not fully learned how to resolve your differences. This issue is just one of many disagreements.
Whether you should marry her is something you have to decide, but given these issues, this is not a relationship to rush into. Being able to get along with your future wife is essential for your future happiness. Being able to trust what she says to you is also critical for a peaceful life. Currently, you don't have that and I don't know if you will be able to gain it.
