I find myself repeatedly committing fornication
Question:
Hi,
I am 21 years of age. I read a brother's email of how he fell into fornication over and over again and how he is ready to ask God for forgiveness and change if God will accept him. I have fallen into such trap. I have repeatedly engaged in fornication. I have openly asked for forgiveness, and I found myself in that situation again and again. Two days ago I went out when the altar call was made. I and others were prayed for. But today I found myself in the same act again.
All these years I have had this emptiness and this hollow feeling has not been better even after praying. I have this feeling that I am evil deep down inside, though I pray as a Christian that feeling and knowing deep down inside has not gone away. While I was praying now and asking God for forgiveness, I felt like I was only lip talking and that it was not from my heart. I do not know how else to express this prayer to be forgiven and have this emptiness inside filled up and this evil tendency taken away.
I have not received the newness of life in Christ all these years. I have felt new, but it always leaves after a few hours or days. Sir, do I continue with the relationship that allows fornication, though I am the instigator?
Please help me.
Answer:
It appears that you think that God is going to make you behave if you pray hard enough or sincerely enough; yet, all you offer are words. "We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world's goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth. We will know by this that we are of the truth, and will assure our heart before Him" (I John 3:16-19). Faith is not a feeling. It is your personal trust in things that you have not personally experienced. Feelings are deceiving. "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9). As Christians, we deal in facts. Those facts may produce feelings in us, but the truth is in the facts and not the feelings.
You continue to have sex outside of marriage, so that means:
- You don't really God exists
- You don't believe God really means what He said
- You think that God doesn't care
- You think that it won't matter in the end
- Or your personal pleasure is far more important to you than eternity in hell
Now, instinctively you will probably say it does matter to you! But look at your deeds, they speak louder than your words. "You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits" (Matthew 7:16-20). All the prayers you may utter won't change this because the prayers are just words. You have to decide to follow Christ with your whole heart, mind, soul, and body. When you reach that point, then there will no longer be questions about whether to have sex one more time before marriage. The Lord said, "no" and that settles the matter (Luke 6:46).
Being a Christian is about obeying the Lord despite your personal feelings at the moment on a matter.
If the person you are dating is causing you to sin, then the answer is simple. The relationship ends because nothing comes between the Christian and his Master.
I suspect that like your prayers, your commitment to Christ has also been merely words. To find out what you really must do to be saved, see: What Must I Do to be Saved?
Question:
Good morning, sir.
Sir, I want to know how I can develop a love for God and zeal for His house. Presently I am experiencing a low love for God and His house. Sir, from what you said, I understand that even though I feel evil and wicked inside I should go on doing the Father will. Are feelings not important in the Christain race?
Answer:
"By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says, "I have come to know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked" (I John 1:3-6).
If you are obeying God, you would not feel wicked because you would know you were doing righteousness.
Feelings are the results of what you do. They should never be the reason for deciding what to do. Feelings constantly change. God's teachings are truth (John 17:17) and truth remains fixed. Thus, having sex when you are not married is not an option to consider, even if you desire it strongly. God said it is wrong, so that must be my decision.
