I don’t think I have sufficient faith

Question:

Hello Brother,

I came across your website over a year ago and have found it to be sound and very helpful. I am a member of the body of Christ, the church of Christ. I am 21 years old and have been a Christian for many years and have seen how the gospel of Christ has significantly changed my life. But recently there have been some things that I've been struggling with.

For example, I was wondering if my baptism was valid. I was baptized at the age of 12 by my own choice because I didn't want Jesus to return and find me in my sins. I had heard the gospel. I certainly believed. I confessed that Jesus Christ is the son of the living God and I was baptized, but I'm not sure if I repented. I knew quite a lot about God's Word. I was aware of the consequences of sin and the fact that it displeased God and I held back from doing certain stuff, but I really never got serious (or matured) until I fell sick several years later. That was the point in time that I really turned to God.

I was baptized again a few months ago, but I have cast that off as invalid because of another struggle I was going through at the time of the re-baptism. I was doubting the existence of God. At that time I was teaching a youth class about the facts of creation and evolution and that was when the doubt emerged. I have carefully studied both sides and have concluded that the big-bang theory and macro-evolution are not logical and have no evidence to support their case, but I still struggle with doubt. I don't struggle to believe whether evolution is true, I struggle with being assured and convicted that my God is there in heaven and that He listens to me when I pray, and that I will one day spend eternity with Him. I have listened, watched, and studied many of the faith lessons on your site and several others. The evidence points toward a Creator and the teachings found in the Bible, but I struggle to walk by faith and not by sight. There are times when I am totally convicted that my God exists, but then after a while, I slip right back into doubt.

I guess my faith is weak and I really don't have complete trust in God's Word. I'm also afraid that I might be wrong and it sometimes seems difficult to come to a conclusion in a world full of lies. I'm searching for the truth and I want to be totally convicted of it without ever slipping back into doubt. My desire is to be sure and be sure in doing what God wants me to do. I will appreciate any help you can give.

Looking forward to your response.