I committed adultery to force my husband to admit to his adultery and then I left him. Would God forgive me of my sin and restore my marriage?

Question:

Hello,

I am writing to you because it's been now several years that I sought God in regards to the restoration of my marriage. It's really difficult to keep believing God wants the marriage restored, and in these "deserts" I feel that there's still one missing part in my understanding of God's Word that makes a big difference and weakens my faith.

The thing is that my ex-husband committed adultery, but I wasn't sure about it. I was very sad because all the circumstances led me to conclude that, yes, he was committing adultery, but still I was not quite sure. I just felt abandoned, rejected, and not loved. I tried hard to find out what the reason could have been that led to him not wanting to be with me anymore and things like that.

For almost one year I prayed and fasted over my marriage. After all of this, I decided that as he would not confess I would commit adultery myself, then he would feel more comfortable to confess, and we would both be set free from the torment: him because he clearly preferred somebody else to sleep with and me because I could have the opportunity of having a better marriage with somebody else one day or even being alone. I didn't really understand what I was planning. I hadn't really done all the math regarding the consequences that would come if I would commit adultery myself. So I did. I abandoned my home, slept with an ex-boyfriend from adolescence, and came back home just to tell my husband that he was not the only one who committed adultery anymore and that if his problem was not having the courage to admit his acts, I had done it in his place, so now he was free to confess and to leave the marriage.

As I had expected, he did so. He confessed he was in adultery for quite some time, but he cried and asked for my forgiveness. I could not forgive him by then, and I left home.

After some time, I realized how stupid I had been, and I repented from all my sins and asked him to forgive me. He said he could forgive me, that he still loved me, but he was living with another woman at the time. The woman was pregnant. She had planned it because he had always told her that he just wanted free sex, but he loved his ex-wife (me). She thought that by having a baby she could conquer him because we never had children.

Now he still lives with her, he says he loves me and wants to be with me, but he can't abandon his baby. He is also a drug addict, as he used to be before he came to Christ. It's been a few years that I waited for him to separate from this woman.

My question is: because I also committed adultery myself if I married somebody else I would be in sin (God forbid). What about him, can he marry this woman, who he says he doesn't love and have this marriage accepted by God? She knew from the beginning that he loved me and that he was an adulterer, and still she insisted on having a relationship with him, and she claims to be a Christian. Will I have to remain single? Will the Lord have mercy on me and perform miracles, restore us and our marriage?