I cheated on my marriage. Can I be forgiven? Can I remarry?
Question:
Blessings! I have three questions:
- Will God forgive me because I committed adultery twice in my marriage with the same man and I was already a Christian?
- Can I remarry the man with the one I cheated on my now ex-husband with? We still see each other and talk, but we don't have sex anymore since he became saved a month ago.
- Will God forgive me even if I filed for divorce but before I was legally divorced I slept with another man? I was still living in the house with my ex-husband, even though my ex-husband and I hadn't had sex since last year.
I committed adultery twice in my 14-year marriage. Will God forgive me again? Eight years after my now ex-husband and I got married, my marriage was bad and I decided to get a divorce. I was saved the same year my ex-husband and I got married after living together for five years. We had two children. My marriage was going downhill, it was both of our faults. I asked my ex-husband to go to marriage counseling, but he always told me I was the sick one, that I was the one who needed help. I decided to file for divorce.
During that process I met another man, also married, we became really close friends. In less than a year of friendship, we fell in love and I slept with him once. I felt awful. My ex-husband forgave me and we had another baby. It wasn't easy, but we worked hard in our marriage. Three years ago he started again with all that emotional abuse -- putting me down. I tried to file for divorce because he didn't want to change, and I don't know if he already did. Anyway, last year after several talks with our pastor, I finally decided on getting divorced.
But the same man I cheated on with six years ago, came back to my life again and I cheated on my ex-husband again. My ex-husband and I stopped sleeping together last year. My relationship with this man began later that year -- two months before I could actually file for divorce. My divorce was final early this year. I feel very guilty because this man just became saved. I feel that God will not forgive me for my sin, and I wouldn't be able to get married to him. I don't want to go back with my ex-husband, but I don't know what to do.
Please help me!
Answer:
"But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 5:32).
Your claim is that your divorce is due to verbal abuse, but you made it clear that your adultery is a major factor in both your disagreements with your former husband and the reason you decided to pursue a divorce. In either case, such a divorce does not allow you to marry another man.
"Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife" (I Corinthians 7:10-11).
All sins can be forgiven if they are given up (repented of). If you marry the man you have been having adultery with, you will remain in adultery. Thus, you will not have repented of that sin. But if you are willing to give up your sexual sins and live a chaste life, or return to your former husband, then you can gain forgiveness of your sins. "For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter" (II Corinthians 7:10-11).
