How much should we judge?
Question:
I know that it is not our job to decide who goes to heaven or hell. Still, my boyfriend says that my family will not be saved because God will not accept the worship that they offer, because they are using instruments and teaching false lessons, such as once saved always saved, and other things like that. I don’t think we should use instruments, but I also don’t know if it is truly sinful, since no verse explicitly states not to use them, and the Bible never clearly condemns their use. Where is the line for us as Christians as to how much we should judge? I know the Bible says to judge righteously by the word of God, and my boyfriend takes this to mean that if my family is worshipping wrongly by doing or teaching something the Bible doesn’t, then they cannot be saved? But can they be saved even if they continue worshipping incorrectly? Does the fact that they believe that instruments are okay to use play a role? I’m a bit confused about whether it is possible to be saved in this type of situation if no changes are made.
Thank you again for your time.
Answer:
As you noted, Jesus said, "Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment" (John 7:24). Therefore, we are to make decisions (judgments). See "Can We Judge?"
It is awkward when you have come to realize that what you and your family have accepted your entire life doesn't match what God has said. Can you be saved if you knowingly violate what God has taught? The final judgment is in God's hands, but He has indicated that we must do what He has directed.
"Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. And we know that the judgment of God rightly falls upon those who practice such things. But do you suppose this, O man, when you pass judgment on those who practice such things and do the same yourself, that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance? But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God, who will render to each person according to his deed: to those who by perseverance in doing good seek for glory and honor and immortality, eternal life; but to those who are selfishly ambitious and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, wrath and indignation" (Romans 2:1-8).
I can make judgments about whether some action or some teaching aligns with God's teaching. I can discuss what God says awaits those who violate His laws. However, I cannot determine the final destiny of any individual. That judgment belongs to God. This is why we read: "But Michael the archangel, when he disputed with the devil and argued about the body of Moses, did not dare pronounce against him a railing judgment, but said, 'The Lord rebuke you!'" (Jude 9). We know Satan's final destination because God has already announced it (Matthew 25:41). However, the archangel Michael refused to take the judgment seat against Satan. Michael opposed Satan, but he knew the judgment of Satan's final destiny belongs solely to God.
Everyone can be saved, but it requires that they conform themselves to God's will. Whether your family will do so in the future is something I cannot predict. Whether they change or not should not be a factor in your decision about whether you will submit to God's will. We would all like our families to be saved, but we must admit that we don't control the decisions of other people. This is why Jesus said we cannot love family more than him. "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me" (Matthew 10:37).
Do what you know is right. Invite your family to join you and explain why you came to the conclusions that you did. After that, the decision is theirs to make, and the decision regarding their final destination is God's to make. Some might tell you, "I don't think it will make any difference." My response would be, "Perhaps. For your sake, I hope you are right. However, I'm not risking my eternal life on your guessing what God will accept. I will stick to what God has said."
