How do we deal with our son who committed adultery?
Question:
I am a Christian. I try to follow the Bible best to my ability. I am a member of a conservative church of Christ. My question is about my son. He grew up in church and was baptized before he joined the service. He is no longer faithful. He married and has a child. We love our grandchild and daughter-in-law very much. She is not a Christian but always attends with me when we are together. The situation is complicated. Son committed adultery. The daughter-in-law decided to try and work things out. The woman, with whom the adultery was with, now has a child. We don't want to hurt our grandchild or daughter-in-law in any way. What is our duty as Christians? Son does not speak to us. We have tried talking to him about his lifestyle and what might happen, and now it did. He is not participating with the adulteress or her child. It's a horrible place to be. Especially because we did not choose this. I go back and forth. Our hearts ache.
Thank you for your time.
Answer:
There isn't much you can do. The responsibility is on your son. The right thing to do is for your son to repair his marriage, but he is also responsible for the child he conceived as well. Therefore, regardless of his behavior, give your support to your daughter-in-law and your grandchild. Keep your dealings with your son to the minimum required. Encourage him to do what is right. If he asks for advice give the best you can. But give him no support in anything sinful. In other words, if he runs off with another woman again, you end contact with him until he returns. You continue to be involved with your daughter-in-law and grandchild since they are doing what is right. "But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner--not even to eat with such a person" (I Corinthians 5:11).
In regards to the second grandchild, there isn't much you can do since you don't want to encourage the adulteress. If it turns out that this second grandchild needs a home, you offer the child your home, but I'm assuming that isn't an issue at the moment.
All the way through, ask yourself who is doing what is godly, regardless of whether they are a Christian or not. It is these people you need to support. Those who are acting wickedly should not get your support regardless of family relations or whether they were baptized at one point.
