How do I take care of my mother, husband, and children when I’m not well either?
Question:
Hi,
I am a 41-year-old with severe anxiety, panic, and depression with disrupted sleep patterns due to this condition. Several years ago my mother sustained an injury while at one of my siblings' homes due to a fight that occurred as the result of drugs and relationship issues. My mother has lost a lot of use in one of her limbs and constantly reminds me of the commandment to honor thy father and mother. I am also married and have children, one quite young. My husband has health issues as well as me so I am confused as my husband reminds me of the verse to cleave unto thy spouse and forsake all others. I feel in my heart I have done all that I can or could do for both. To the point, it made my problems worse. Daily I am constantly blamed for decisions that led to her limb usage loss, and I am now so confused about the two scriptures and not knowing what or if I did something wrong that I just want to give up sometimes. Please help me to understand the Scriptures because as it is I can't do both and make everyone happy. While I am struggling to get by day-to-day, I am now using narcotics (prescribed). I am feeling like I am going to go to hell for not being able to take care of my mother more than I was able to. I have siblings who offered no or little help at all. I want to do what I can but as I said I am limited. So any understanding you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.
Answer:
Honoring does not mean becoming a slave to other people. It means being polite, respectful, and seeing that they are safe and cared for. I don't know what you've been doing for your mother, but it sounds as if you've been doing what you can. If your mother doesn't think it is enough, suggest that she move into an assisted living facility since you don't have the resources to take her in.
What everyone seems to be forgetting is that there is also the rule, "If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat" (II Thessalonians 3:10). People are expected to be responsible to do what they can for themselves. What they cannot do, others step in to help as they are able.
Figure out what you can do which allows you to sustain that level of effort for a long period of time. Then learn to say no when the demands get beyond what you can handle.
