How do I deal with people’s profanity?
Question:
I have a question or concern tonight. I was talking to my next-door neighbor this evening. I was passing by while working in the yard and started a conversation with him. I asked him about some work he had been doing in his yard. He used some very bad language, expressing how difficult it was. He also used God’s name in vain. I have been trying to convince these folks to come to church with us. So I try not to make them really angry. But I didn’t say anything to him when he said this. I’d imagine he could tell by the look on my face I wasn’t very comfortable with what he said. Anyhow, I just removed myself from the situation quickly. I know I’m supposed to warn folks about sin. So, obviously, I’m feeling terrible at the moment.
I struggle with this issue. Knowing how and when to correct someone. I want to help them, and I don’t want to sin by not warning them. I also don’t want to make them so mad that they won’t listen to me in the future. How should I handle these situations with someone who lives next to me like that?
Sometimes, I do well to say something immediately to someone who cusses or says something dirty. Sometimes, I look for an opening to delve deeper into the conversation and deliver a more subtle, indirect warning. Sometimes I fail, like tonight.
I work in an industry where I am exposed to this material all the time. It drives me up a wall trying to get away from this stuff. It makes me cringe every time someone drops God's or Jesus' name in vain like this. They cause a real internal battle in my mind every time they do it. At times, I get very angry because it feels like an attack, as if the devil is just challenging me constantly.
It’s strange, I have dared to warn whole groups of men on a job before. But sometimes, like tonight, it seems like I can’t draw up the courage to say something. I probably shouldn’t say this, but sometimes I just don’t want to be around certain people because of this stuff. But I can’t avoid it at work. I have had whole crews of men angry at me for warning them of their language being sinful. But I just totally failed with my next-door neighbor. I don’t understand.
Answer:
The difficulty is the conflicting objectives. You want to reach people, but you have to scold because what is being done is wrong.
When conversations get profane, you can politely ask people not to swear, but I've found over the years that almost no one listens to the request. The best you can do is leave as soon as you can. Still, it is worth an attempt to ask if they would mind toning down the profanity because you find it difficult to listen to. By stating it this way, you aren't directly attacking them. You are asking them to consider your views.
When conversations turn crude, you can sometimes get people to think by asking questions as if you took what they said literally. You can also mention the hazards of immoral behavior. Most crude topics are discussed because people think the shock is funny. Sometimes, discussing immoral behavior seriously can make people uncomfortable enough that they find other issues to talk about.
Over the years, I have found out that some people notice that you don't use profanity. The example you set becomes an indirect rebuke to others and shows them that profanity is unnecessary and unprofessional. Thus, even if you don't mention that cursing is sinful, you still teach the message by letting your light shine.
