How do I convince my wife to reconcile?

Question:

Good afternoon. God bless you.

My wife and I got married when I was an unbeliever and she was a Christian, during which time I mistreated her and was unfaithful to her. She was also unfaithful but did not have sex; she only kissed other men.

I left home, we did not get divorced, and I met the man after six months. From that moment on, I turned from my sin to live in holiness to the Lord. I returned repentant to my wife, trying to get us to return to lead a marriage for the glory of God, but she did not want to.

Today, it has been almost three years of being in this situation, married but without living together; I have tried in many ways to reawaken her love in her and ask God for restoration, but she still does not want to return, and my hope is being extinguished more and more.

I feel frustrated because I know that I love God and that, by God's grace, I would be a good husband if we returned together. However, it seems she does not see that, and what she experienced with me in the past weighs more heavily on her.

I need words of advice. Thank you. God bless you.

Answer:

Sadly, I have seen this before where one spouse sees he is heading toward destruction and turns himself around to become a true Christian. Yet, the other spouse isn't living the Christian life, even if she may call herself a Christian. Strangely, the more improvement is made, the more the other spouse distrusts what she is seeing.

I hope and pray that you find a way to reconcile, but you can't force the issue. She must decide.

If you can, date your wife with the hope of a reconciliation but without pushing for it. It may be a long process, and you may not succeed, but at least you can try.