How do I be forgiven for eavesdropping?
Question:
I had a problem with eavesdropping. Do I need to tell the people I've been eavesdropping on that I've done it or is it enough that I asked God for forgiveness and stopped eavesdropping?
I'm kind of confused, in general, about when we're required to tell someone about a sin that may have involved them but didn't harm them. Obviously direct harm to someone or the consequences of sin such as lying should be addressed with the person. But I am unsure about breaches in etiquette or similar shortcomings that involve someone else. Basically, if a sin involves someone else but does not directly affect them or harm them, do I need to confess that sin to them?
Answer:
Overhearing what someone else said is not a sin. You can't help hearing what has been spoken out loud.
Sometimes you might hear something that requires you to take action. "In those days, while Mordecai was sitting at the king's gate, Bigthan and Teresh, two of the king's officials from those who guarded the door, became angry and sought to lay hands on King Ahasuerus. But the plot became known to Mordecai and he told Queen Esther, and Esther informed the king in Mordecai's name. Now when the plot was investigated and found to be so, they were both hanged on a gallows; and it was written in the Book of the Chronicles in the king's presence" (Esther 2:21-23). It wasn't wrong for Mordecai to have overheard the plot. It wasn't wrong for him to let officials know so that the king could be protected. In fact, if Mordecai had not said anything he would have made himself complicit in the plot.
Similarly, consider Paul's nephew: "They came to the chief priests and the elders and said, 'We have bound ourselves under a solemn oath to taste nothing until we have killed Paul. Now therefore, you and the Council notify the commander to bring him down to you, as though you were going to determine his case by a more thorough investigation; and we for our part are ready to slay him before he comes near the place.' But the son of Paul's sister heard of their ambush, and he came and entered the barracks and told Paul" (Acts 23:14-16). A band of men was plotting murder. Paul's nephew was not wrong for overhearing their plans, nor was he wrong for letting Paul know of the danger.
What upsets people is when someone goes out of their way to listen to others for the purpose of finding something to use against them -- in other words, a gossip collecting information to gossip about. It is gossiping that is wrong regardless of how the information was collected. "He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter" (Proverbs 11:13). Thus, using something you overheard to ruin the reputation of the person you heard is wrong. Our goal is to build people up, not tear them down. "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear" (Ephesians 4:29).
The goal of repentance to change both the attitude that allowed us to accept sin and to change our behavior. Not everything we have done is repairable, but we don't want to be seen profiting from sins that we committed. Thus, Zacchaeus decided to give half his money that he made collecting taxes to the poor because he gained some of it by charging the wrong amount. He also offered to repay anyone who could show he had cheated them four times the amount (Luke 19:8). He didn't make a list of every person he might have cheated over the years and deliver a personal apology. Such was probably not possible, but he was willing to make things right.
