How do I ask for forgiveness after sinning so terribly?

Answer:

The reason I asked about your boyfriend is that if only one of you is committed to avoiding sin, you will find it hard to do if the other is pushing you toward sin. It has to be more than just words. It has to be a complete commitment.

The apostle John discussed what to do about sin after becoming a Christian: "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us. My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous" (I John 1:8 - 2:1). Sin is not supposed to be a part of a Christian's life. We try to avoid it, but we realize that we make mistakes. When we do, we repent of our sins, go to the Father in prayer confessing we've sinned, and then continue on committed not to repeat those sins.

In your second question, you are basically asking if there might be multiple ways to be saved. Can a person be saved without fully obeying God? The simple answer is "no."

• "Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it" (Matthew 7:13-14).
• "Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me"" (John 14:6).
• "There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all" (Ephesians 4:4-6).

God did not lay out multiple ways to be saved. He defined what He expects of us, and the question is whether you or anyone else is willing to submit to His will. Each thing that He asks of us has a reason behind it: hearing God's word, believing, repentance, confession, baptism, and a life of obedience. Leaving out any one means you haven't really committed your life to God. Following the Lord's command is not earning your salvation, it is conforming yourself to God's will.

As an example, there was a man named Cornelius in the Bible. He is described by God as being a good man; that is, he lived a life that followed God's teachings for the most part. "There was a certain man in Caesarea called Cornelius, a centurion of what was called the Italian Regiment, a devout man and one who feared God with all his household, who gave alms generously to the people, and prayed to God always" (Acts 10:1-2). But a man's goodness is not enough to save him. "But we are all like an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are like filthy rags; we all fade as a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away" (Isaiah 64:6). Cornelius was told to send for Peter to find out what he needed to do. "And he told us how he had seen an angel standing in his house, who said to him, 'Send men to Joppa, and call for Simon whose surname is Peter, who will tell you words by which you and all your household will be saved'" (Acts 11:13-14). Take note of that! Cornelius was a good man, a man whom God heard his prayers, yet he wasn't saved. Peter taught him about Jesus and what he needed to do. At the end, we read, "And he commanded them to be baptized in the name of the Lord" (Acts 10:46). Cornelius could not be saved, no matter how good he lived, unless he conformed himself to God's will.

Fornication is any sexual act between two unmarried people that typically ends in orgasm. So intercourse, anal sex, oral sex, or hand-jobs would all be examples of fornication. But the problem you are overlooking is that fornication is not the only sin. Stirring up sexual passion such that a person is focused on wanting sex when it should not take place is also a sin. It is usually called lust, lewdness, or wantonness, depending on the translation. "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God" (I Thessalonians 4:3-5). So the question isn't just whether you are actually doing fornication, but also whether you are stirring up sexual passions -- especially to the point of where you two aren't thinking.

That problem you two are running into. You have intentions, but those intentions fly out the window when you get yourself so passionate that you forget to behave yourselves. The answer is to not start down the path of sin and then you won't have to worry about arriving at a place you don't want to be.