Finding the Words to Say

by Ross Ward, Jr.

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Ephesians 4:29).

Have you spent time meditating on how to address a difficult situation? If you are considerate of the things you say and how they are received, you probably have done this a lot. Finding the right words seems to be a difficult task, and even when you think you have the right words, they don’t always produce the result you intended. In our scripture reading, Paul gave the Ephesian Christians some valuable and godly instructions about their speech. It is to be good, edifying, and minister grace. Let’s consider each aspect.

Good

It seems simple enough, it is speech that is good. W. E. Vines gives this definition: "beneficial in its effect." Does our speech help another? Is it to their benefit? If we are honest, we realize that maybe too often, our speech is what makes us feel good and is not to the benefit of another.

Edifying

Thayer defines it as "building up or the acts of one who promotes another’s growth. Speech that encourages and inspires others to do great things." This is undoubtedly a very admirable act.

Ministering Grace

The definitions of this phrase differ a little, but it means to bestow grace or gracious speech. The idea of gracious speech is not just speech that benefits and encourages another, but this term includes speech that is not deserved or merited. Being gracious is giving somebody the benefit of the doubt or maybe even choosing to say something slightly differently to avoid being destructive. Paul teaches us to be gracious in our speech.

Each of these are genuinely great virtues of speech, but they are not always easy to utilize. It takes effort, possibly a lot of effort. With practice and a correct heart, it can become a habit. If we are in the habit of saying the first thing we think, it is very doubtful we will follow these principles.