Fathers Raising Godly Children

by Chad Carter

Over the years — now having passed 62 of them — I’ve observed that the men who have raised godly children, though differing widely in personality and disposition, tend to share many of the same traits and practices. The most significant commonality among them is a clear and deliberate intent to raise godly children.

What follows are 62 observations (a fitting coincidence) drawn from the lives of many such fathers I’ve had the privilege to watch over the years.
I hope that something here will cause a father, somewhere, to pause and thoughtfully consider how he is — or one day will be — raising his children.

Fatherhood suggestions:

1. Pray, even before children are ever born, that you will be a Godly father looking to your heavenly Father as the ultimate example of how to be a father.
2. Stand firm in the faith. Little else matters if a firm footing in the faith isn’t present.
3. Be the head of the house as God designed.
4. Act like a (godly) man (I Corinthians 13:11; 16:13; I Kings 2:2-3).
5. Always be on the alert to their needs and potential dangers (physically, but more importantly, spiritually).
6. Tell them “I love you.”
7. Let them hear you tell their mother, “I love you.”
8. Let them see you reading and studying God’s word.
9. Let them hear you talk about God’s word.
10. Make speaking of God and His word part of your everyday family conversations.
11. Let them see and hear their father praying.
12. Let them see and hear their father thank God for blessings in life.
13. Let them see and hear their father give thanks for their mother and them.
14. Let them see and hear their father thank God for the blessing of His Son and the hope we have in Him.
15. Let them see and hear their father praying for others.
16. Let them see and hear their father talk to others about the gospel.
17. Pray with them as a family every day, not just at mealtime.
18. Pray that they develop their own faith and convictions, and let them hear that prayer.
19. Pray that (if they marry) they become Godly spouses and parents, and let them hear that prayer.
20. Pray that (if they are to marry) they find Godly wives or husbands, and let them hear that prayer.
21. Read the Bible with them, or to them, every day.
22. Openly treat their mother with love and affection at all times, especially in their presence.
23. Never speak ill of their mother to them (or anyone else).
24. Never argue with their mother in their presence or in their hearing.
25. Eat together at home as often as possible, without the distractions of TV, phones, etc.
26. Let them hear and participate in discussions (appropriate for their ears and years) between you and their mother about the day’s events and challenges at work, home, school, etc., and how you plan to respond to each, making sure the response is God-centered (these discussions are especially effective when done at meal time around the table).
27. Never let them hear you speak in a derogatory manner of fellow saints, preachers, elders, etc.
28. Don’t gossip about fellow saints, preachers, neighbors, elders, friends, relatives, etc.
29. Speak respectfully of others at all times.
30. Teach and display respect for authority (e.g., of the Lord, His word, government, teachers, coaches, etc.).
31. Set unwavering expectations of them as to godliness and purity in life (e.g., drink, drugs, sex, dress, etc.).
32. Worship with the saints, together—displaying the priority this takes over all other activities.
33. Plan and adjust your schedules to attend services — no matter where you are or what you are doing (i.e., on vacation, playing ball, etc.).
34. Require, and display, reverence for God during worship.
35. Do your own Bible lessons before Bible class, and have them do theirs before class. Help them with the lessons if they need it.
36. Talk about the Bible lesson and sermon after services.
37. Spend time with them (quality time and quantity time—both are necessary).
38.  Have discussions about the world, school, friends, and sports. However, make it a point to have spiritual discussions about God, His word, and His will.
39. Make them feel important by being punctual (be where you say you’ll be for them when you say you’ll be there) when attending their events or activities.
40. Take the time to explain things to them, for them—whether worldly or spiritual—and answer their questions.
41. Discipline them. ”Discipline” means “train,” and, yes, it may mean corporal punishment at times.
42. Remember, “no” can be a good thing.
43. Be consistent in the discipline, even when you are tired.
44. Never discipline out of anger.
45. Don’t be afraid to tell them, “I’m sorry.”
46. Apologize to them when necessary and appropriate.
47. Be considerate of them, their time, and their own desires. However, never waver in discipline or priorities.
48. Forgive them if and when they fall short.
49. Tell them you are thankful for them.
50. Tell them you are proud of them.
51. Ask them, “What do you think?”
52. Respect them.
53. Praise them, but not effusively about anything, and always mindful of the One Whose approval is most important.
54. Rejoice with them.
55. Weep with them.
56. Always display humility.
57. Demonstrate thankfulness to God for them, their mother, and others in words, prayers, and actions.
58. Always control your own emotions, anger, and frustrations…especially in their presence.
59. Commit yourself to providing for your family — even when the work is difficult, unfamiliar, or beneath what you believe you are qualified for.
60. Sacrifice for them of your time and money.
61. Remember, as a father, there is really no such thing as “my time.”
62. Never let the bad decisions of your kids deter your own conviction, faith, and love of the Lord.