Does having a dream involving sin mean we have sinned?
Question:
I am a member of the church. Lately, my soul has been in spiritual turmoil, and I could hardly find the strength to do anything but try to pray and study. I recently opened up to my husband about why, and I started to feel better after I opened up to him. However, I had an impure dream a while back that troubled me and is very abominable. It's something that I constantly cry about because I've always had a strong love for the Lord.
But the fear of this dream keeps coming back. I've asked the Lord for forgiveness of the dream and He says He remembers our sins no more if we repent and ask for forgiveness. However, I have not shared this dream with my husband. I feel like I am not being truthful, and that I am hiding something from him, but I am embarrassed to tell him and afraid to lose him. Should I tell him? Or should I move forward in God's forgiveness? Just thinking of how I am going to tell my husband puts me in a worse spiritual state.
Additionally, I don't want to reach the point of no return spiritually. I am trying to move forward and not remember something God doesn't remember against me. What should I do?
Answer:
At the core of your question is the opinion that we are directly responsible for the content of our dreams and that when a dream involves sin, then we are responsible. Right and wrong are defined by God and not our own opinions. To understand whether a dream is sinful, we have to look at what God said on the matter.
John defines sin as: "Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness" (I John 3:4). Sin occurs when a person chooses to break a law of God, whether willfully, through deceit, or through ignorance. But dreams are something people can't control. I might have a dream about robbing a bank, but that doesn't mean I have stolen anything or that I even desire to steal something -- it is just a dream. A dream about a sinful situation doesn't mean a person has sinned.
There is nothing wrong with telling your spouse that you had a bad dream and it really bothered you, but don't treat this as a situation in which you have sinned against your spouse simply because you had a bad dream. Consider, too, whether telling your spouse the details of the dream will strengthen your marriage or introduce doubt into the relationship. Sometimes the wise course is not to speak about everything on your mind because everything you think is not worth revealing. "The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin" (Proverbs 13:3).
