Do I have to live with my parents until I get married?
Question:
I am currently going to college, and I live with my parents. One day I will graduate, and I will be able to support myself. I would also like to move out of my parents' house, but my mom told me that as long as I am not married, that I have to live with her and my dad. To be honest with you, one day I want to live by myself. I want to be independent, but as of right now, while I finish my career, I need to be with my parents. I am respectful and I obey their rules, but there are certain things that they do that I do not like, and there are some rules that I have to follow that I am not so comfortable with. Would it be a dishonor to my parents if I one day leave even if they told me not to? Is it considered a sin? Do you think God will curse me and make everything go wrong with me if I decide to one day live on my own? I turn 20 soon.
Answer:
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).
Notice that there is a two-step process toward marriage: a man first leaves home and then he gets married. Next, consider the many examples in the Scriptures. David left home and lived with Saul for quite a while before he married Saul's daughter. Paul never married and did not live at home either. Timothy traveled with Paul and was not living at home. Barnabas was also unmarried as he traveled preaching the gospel. Your mother's statement is false. She cannot bind what God has not bound.
The rule, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right" (Ephesians 6:1), is not unqualified. Paul said to obey your parents in the Lord. Where their rules are within the bounds of God's rules, you give them respect by doing as they ask. But when they ask things that are beyond what God said was right, God expects you to follow Him, not your parents. Your parents don't have the right to define what is sinful or not; they are restricted to what the Father says is right or wrong.
When you are financially able, move out and have no regrets. Call your folks regularly to see how they are doing, but you are an adult and it is time to make a life for yourself.
