Question:

Hello!

I really appreciate your question and answer site. I use it regularly when studying a specific subject.

I have a question, and I believe I already know the answer, but I wondered what your response to my question would be. So here it goes ...

I divorced a few years back due to my husband's adultery. He is a sex addict, has had multiple affairs, and his behavior escalated to sexual predator type of behavior. I'm saying all that to say that I have trust issues and at times I am still recovering from the torment he put me through.

Fast forward to a few years down the road, I have met a wonderful man. He is a newer Christian and aims to please God. He divorced his wife because of her adultery. He caught his wife with another man on several occasions at the man's house. She and this man were talking at all hours of the day, staying late at work to hang out, and sneaking around to meet up. When he approached her about it, she said that she had been meaning to tell him that she wanted a break and that she was no longer happy. He said that he tried to beg her to stay and told her the grass would not be greener on the other side. She swore up and down that she and this man were just friends and that sex never happened. My boyfriend says that he didn't believe her due to her past of inappropriate relationships with other men. She made her relationship with this man public just a few months after their divorce was final and they married 10 months later. She has told everyone that she divorced her ex because he was not nice to her and was too controlling. Everyone that I talk to says that my boyfriend was a wonderful husband and father to his children and that her story does not add up.

I am happy to say that we are now engaged to be married. The elders at our congregation did speak with my fiancé and asked him why his first marriage ended. He explained that his ex had a pattern of inappropriate behaviors and that she had left him for another man.

I feel crazy for contacting you because when I read this back over, I think ... "of course he had reasons for divorce and remarriage." My own ex-husband lied for years about his affairs. So does this sound like he has a reason for divorce and remarriage? Even though he never had concrete evidence (he can not pinpoint when the act of adultery happened), and she would never admit that she was having an affair?

Thank you!

Answer:

A jury doesn't have to witness a murder to convict a person of a crime. They have to consider the evidence and decide if they have no doubt that the person had committed the crime. For Christians, the basic rule is the existence of two or more witnesses.  "A single witness shall not rise up against a man on account of any iniquity or any sin which he has committed; on the evidence of two or three witnesses a matter shall be confirmed" (Deuteronomy 19:15).

You have his side of the story. It is clear that she was seeing the other man prior to divorce ever being mentioned. She was caught several times at the other man's house. She also had a history of inappropriate sexual behavior.

Your second witnesses are those who have known him and who say that his ex-wife's story doesn't match the facts.

It seems clear to me that his ex-wife planned in advance to leave her husband. She had another man lined up to marry prior to the divorce papers being filed. There isn't absolute evidence that sex took place (such as it being mentioned in a text message), I would think the weight of evidence is sufficient to say your fiance's story is correct.

Response:

Thank you so much! I appreciate your response and insight!

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