Did I do something wrong in telling my ex-girlfriend that her behavior wasn’t good?
Question:
My ex-girlfriend and I met a few weeks ago and discussed things and we made peace in following Matthew 18:15. We didn't get back together, that wasn't my interest; I just wanted to be Christian brother and sister again so we could help each other spiritually. After she added me back on Facebook I noticed she was doing a lot of cursing and rude talking about different things, and I was too afraid to say something to her about it to ruin what we just did, and decided I would put it off until more time had gone by. Then I fell upon your articles on rebuking a brother, and they convicted me in waiting to bring up her sin to her. So today, after seeing a particularly terrible post I wrote her a message asking her to think about how the way she's been talking on Facebook makes God feel, what it does to her credibility in bringing people to Christ, and what it says to other Christians about her. It now appears that she's blocked me, essentially sending the message that she wants me out of her life and to leave her alone.
It feels like I did the right thing, and I did it in the right way, but her reaction doesn't seem to indicate that I did do the right thing at all. I was very precise with the words I used to make sure the message came off in a soft and kind way.
Should I continue to be concerned about how this happened or should I just let it go? What's the proper thing to do now? Try to make peace? Leave it alone completely and just pray on it?
I'm just concerned for her soul, I don't have any feelings for her anymore, but I do care as much about her soul as anyone else's. I also want to have handled this in a way that would make God smile and I'm not sure if I have.
Answer:
So did Jesus fail in delivering his message properly because they crucified him instead of listening to his words? Try as we might to deliver the truth in the best way possible, there will always be those who refuse to listen. "Therefore they could not believe, because Isaiah said again: "He has blinded their eyes and hardened their hearts, Lest they should see with their eyes, Lest they should understand with their hearts and turn, So that I should heal them"" (John 12:39-40).
You did the best you could. But she has to make her own choice. Leave the door open on your side -- perhaps she'll turn from her sin. But at least know that you planted a seed. She knows you spoken the truth, that is why she is kicking you out of her life. She doesn't want the truth right now and to hear it bothers her. Perhaps someone else can finish the job that you started at a later time.
Meanwhile, be thankful that you realized her true character before you decided to marry her. This is why engagements should not be rushed.
