Am I sinning by seeing a woman who still lives with her husband, though she says they are separated?
Question:
I'm seeing a woman who lives with her husband but is separating and has no relationship with him. She stays together with him for the kids' sake, but this has been going on for two years. Am I committing a sin? I honestly believe her that they are not together, but I'm confused if I'm doing something wrong.
Answer:
You are dating a woman who is currently married. Intentions are not the same as actually having ended her marriage. Therefore, you are contributing to the breakdown of this family. I assume you've been having sex with her. Not only are you having sex with a woman you are not married to, but you are also having sex with a woman married to another man. This is called "adultery." "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).
The fact that she has remained married while cheating on her husband basically means she is using you for her own purposes.
Even if she does divorce her husband, you won't be able to marry her by God's law since the divorce will in part be due to her adultery with you. "But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 5:32).
Put your pants back on, end this adultery and find a woman you can truly marry.
Question:
Thanks for your reply. By the way, I am a Catholic. I thought I should mention that. Are you saying it's not right to marry a woman if she's divorced? If so doesn't everyone deserve a second chance? What you say about her using me for her purposes probably makes a lot of sense. Someone else said the same thing to me. I wanted to ask the father in church but didn't have the will to do it.
Answer:
While I am familiar with Catholicism and its teachings, I don't teach it. I teach solely from the Bible.
There is only one exception given by Jesus that allows someone who is divorced to marry again. See I need a dumbed-down version about divorce and remarriage. Covenants are lifetime agreements. A person who breaks the marriage covenant does not get a second chance at marriage. They can be forgiven of theirs sins, but because of their sin, they either must be reconciled to their spouse or live single.
The woman you are seeing is committing adultery with you. That won't change even if she divorces her husband and marries you. It still remains adultery. By the way, you claim to be Catholic, and even in Roman Catholic teaching what you are doing is adultery. In Roman Catholic teaching this woman cannot get a divorce.
You need to leave this woman. She is dragging you into her sins.
