Am I gambling with my soul by living with my girlfriend while waiting for her divorce to go through?
Question:
I found Christ after being lost for almost 15 years. This is a real change, it's not like the past. I really feel like the Holy Spirit is guiding me. I'm separating myself from all that is evil driven and it's as if I see black and white now and have dropped all my worldly passions for Christ. Jesus has been guiding me and given me more wisdom than ever. I really do feel like I'm in the light now and finally have peace of mind in Christ.
I moved in with my girlfriend and her daughter along with my daughter as well near the end of last year. I accepted Jesus in my heart once again and reclaimed my salvation just over a month ago.
The problem I've come across is the fact that my girlfriend is in the middle of a divorce. We are not married, and her divorce case has dragged making her legally married still, which makes her an adulterer and me a fornicator anytime we sleep with each other. She has been separated from him for more than a year, but the judge threw out her case and so the lawyer is refiling her case.
I do not want to gamble with my salvation practically living in sin, but we have a lease now in our apartment and our daughters are like sisters. We all go to church together and my girlfriend supports my growth in Christianity and has seen what faith has done, not only for me but for our whole family.
Once her divorce is approved we plan on getting married under God in our church. I try to spread the gospel to my friends, but they try to defend their sins with the fact that I'm living in sin due to the fact that I live with my girlfriend which makes me no better than them. I don't argue that with them but I tell them that I'm taking the steps in order for that to not be an issue anymore and to please God.
My question overall to you is, am I gambling my salvation living as a fornicator and her as an adulteress? I don't want that final trumpet to sound and be left behind due to that sin. May God bless you and thank you for your time.
Answer:
This is a good illustration of why feelings are not a guide to morality. "He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But whoever walks wisely will be delivered" (Proverbs 28:26). While you have been feeling better about yourself, you have been continuing to sin. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10).
Your girlfriend's past doesn't matter. You have no business having sex with anyone to whom you are not married. In your particular case, you thought you were committing fornication, but it turns out that you are committing adultery. Doesn't it matter? You both are still in sin and not in a relationship with God. You are not practically living in sin, you are living in sin.
Playing at being a Christian doesn't make what you are doing right. "And why not say, "Let us do evil that good may come"? --as we are slanderously reported and as some affirm that we say. Their condemnation is just" (Romans 3:8). Claiming that good is coming from your continued sin doesn't change the fact that you are sinning.
Jesus said, "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye" (Matthew 7:1-5). Many people misapply these verse to tell other people not to draw conclusions about their sins, but Jesus is talking to people like you, who are caught up in sin and yet trying to lead other people out of sin at the same time. It just doesn't work because your own sin tells everyone that you don't really believe what you are saying.
One of the things I'm concerned about is that I don't know why your girlfriend is divorcing her husband. I don't know if she has the right to another marriage. See: I need a dumbed-down version about divorce and remarriage.
Regardless, you can't live in sin and say it is acceptable because you plan to stop sinning in the future. "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?" (Romans 6:1-2).
