Was helping the tribe of Benjamin find wives wrong?

Answer:

During the days of the Judges, the tribe of Benjamin allowed homosexuality to exist within their borders. This upset the rest of Israel so greatly that they attacked Benjamin and nearly wiped out the tribe. When they were done, they realized only 600 men remained—no women or children. Worse, they had vowed not to give their sons and daughters to marry anyone from Benjamin (Judges 21:1). Thus, the tribe stood to die out.

Realizing that one group hadn't been present when the vow was made, they wiped out Jabesh-Gilead, sparing only the virgin women (Judges 21:8-12). They did this as punishment for Jabesh-Gilead not responding to the call to arms (Judges 21:5). They ended up with 400 women to be wives, but they were still 200 short. They decided to let the men without wives "steal" women from a festival where virgin women gathered and pretend that they didn't notice. Thus they could claim they didn't give the men wives since they "took" the women.

"Therefore they instructed the children of Benjamin, saying, 'Go, lie in wait in the vineyards, and watch; and just when the daughters of Shiloh come out to perform their dances, then come out from the vineyards, and every man catch a wife for himself from the daughters of Shiloh; then go to the land of Benjamin. Then it shall be, when their fathers or their brothers come to us to complain, that we will say to them, "Be kind to them for our sakes, because we did not take a wife for any of them in the war; for it is not as though you have given the women to them at this time, making yourselves guilty of your oath."' And the children of Benjamin did so; they took enough wives for their number from those who danced, whom they caught. Then they went and returned to their inheritance, and they rebuilt the cities and dwelt in them" (Judges 21:20-23).

If a mistake was made, it was in making the rash vow not to allow anyone from Benjamin to marry people from the other tribes. At the time the vow was made, I don't think the Israelites thought about the consequences of wiping out one of Israel's tribes. Also, notice that God was never consulted about what to do.

Once they realized that they had made a major blunder, the people sought out ways to prevent the loss of Benjamin without breaking their vows. They found two ways:

1. In punishing the group that did not respond to the call to arms, they modified it to allow the virgin women to remain alive.
2. They decided that while they could not give their daughters to the survivors, if the daughters were taken and they turned a blind eye to it, they would still have kept their oaths.

All of this resulted from people doing what they felt was right. "In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes" (Judges 21:25). The entire Book of Judges documents the progressive moral decay of Israel. By the end, even when people tried to do what was right, they still messed things up.