Unconditional Love (Benton)

by Terry W Benton
Daily Points of Light from Heaven

Is God’s love unconditional? If so, what does it mean?

There is no doubt that the core character of God is that His endearing quality is love. Yet that very point is not understood. We bring to the table our own concepts of what we think love is, and we mess it all up. We distort the meaning by wishing it to mean what we hope it means, rather than discover what it actually means. The world wants it to mean that God accepts us as we are and that we will all go to heaven because God loves us “unconditionally.”

It is true that God loves us unconditionally, but that does not mean He accepts us unconditionally. We need to get our concepts from the purest source, the Holy Spirit, as He expressed the truth in the scriptures.

False Concepts of God’s Love

One false concept is: God only loves us if we perfectly obey Him. The truth is that God loves us because He built value into us. We are made in His image. We are loved, and God sees value and potential in each one. Sin is in the way of our relationship, but sin can be corrected and effectively removed. God loved us even when we were yet sinners (Romans 5:8). God demonstrated love by dying for us on the cross of Calvary, and He demonstrated that love “while” we were yet sinners. It was not the case that God would love us IF we would perfectly obey Him. His heart so ached for us even when we did not care for Him and acted like fools.

Now, having a relationship with someone who loves us is quite a different matter. Let me illustrate this point.

The parents of Tommy loved him deeply, but Tommy had become an alcoholic. His drinking ruined everything. They could not have a relationship with this grown son, because he loved his liquor more than he loved his family. No matter how much his family loved him, they could not accept his selfish and demoralizing behavior. Alcohol had corrupted his mind and body and soul. They still loved him while he was yet an alcoholic, but love could not accept him in that pitiful and pathetic condition. Their hearts ached for the former Tommy, the one that they had enjoyed in former years, the one that could return to a more pleasant version of himself if only he would accept the help he needed. The parents searched for a way to help Tommy and found a hospital program that could help him if he would first find reason to commit to their help. They had a way that often worked to turn the alcoholic to first desiring their help. The first step was group confrontation. A group of family and friends went over to Tommy’s house to talk and confront him about how they loved him, but he was hurting them. Would he please accept the help this hospital program was offering to free him from the hold that alcohol had on him? Each person told of their love and told how his alcohol was hurting them. The parents and brother made their loving plea, and all of this combined love got Tommy seeing that he was not just hurting himself with the alcohol, but he was ruining his chance to quit hurting those who loved him. Here was a program of love that was offering him a chance to break free of the hold that alcohol had on him, and here was a chance to take an access route into a better life. His parents had never stopped loving him, but his choice of alcohol over them was the problem. Tommy realized he needed to love these people back and become more responsible, or their love was wasted on him. Would he let their love be wasted on him? It was time to decide what to do about this great love that was offering him so much hope of a better future. He went into the program and broke free of the alcohol to prove his love for his family and friends. He did not want their love to be wasted on him any longer. That is the way it is with God.

Another false concept is that God only loves us because we deserve His love. We have done nothing to deserve God’s love. We deserve His wrath, not His love. He loves us because of His own nature and the value He built into making us in His image. Like Tommy’s parents, they had a part of themselves vested in Tommy. He was part of them, and he was not deserving of their love. He was acting very undeserving. Likewise, we have been acting very undeserving of our Holy Father, but He loves us, and He loves us so much that He sacrificed dearly to try to win our hearts. Tommy would always be loved by his parents, but they would grieve that love if Tommy did not care enough for himself and them to make this turnaround. There was no question of the parents’ love; the question came back to how and if Tommy would respond positively or indifferently to their love.

God’s Love Is Totally Unconditional

When it comes to the love of God, it has been unquestionably expressed when we were at our worst. The love of God is unconditional as to its reality, but conditional when it comes to our relationship to Him.

The Character of God Is Love

His rich provisions are demonstrations of the goodness of His love. John said that God is love.

• “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love” (I John 4:8).
• “…and we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him" (I John 4:16).

God loved us before we came to love Him back and come into Him (relationship).

The Conditions for a Relationship with God Are Conditional

Like Tommy’s parents, the love for Tommy is unconditional. He can continue to make them grieve in their love, or he can turn and make the relationship to their love really count for him and them. It was up to Tommy. The relationship with God is conditional. Unless we repent, we will all perish (Luke 13:3). A relationship offered from one side is not a relationship enjoyed.
Tommy couldn’t continue in alcohol and enjoy the benefits of his parents’ love. He would have to take the offer of help, the access into their grace (Romans 5:1). He is not automatically in their good graces just because they love him. Love offers access into grace, but he must take the access route or forfeit relationship forever.

Another way to illustrate the principle of love is this. You might think of a man named George. It may be said that George loves everyone. That could be true, but does everyone love George? And just because George lives by the principle of loving all his neighbors does not mean that just anyone can walk right into his house and start eating his food and sleeping in his bed. He loves his neighbors, but there is a process of acceptance. Love is the great principle that might lead to acceptance into relationships, but acceptance is not automatic. God loves us, but there is a process that gives us access into His house. We are not in His house yet, just because He loves us.

Things God’s Love Will Not Do

God’s love will not automatically accept you “as you are”, if that means “as you have been”. In other words, you have to get cleaned up, and you need to commit to changing your attitude and direction. You can keep the same course you were on and thereby forfeit the blessing of relationship, but that is on us, not on God. You cannot “continue in sin that grace may abound” (Romans 6:1ff).

God will not automatically forgive you without repentance on your end (Luke 13:3; II Corinthians 7:7f). Access into His grace is through a faith that changes your attitude and direction. It is a faith that moves one to repent toward God, and it is a faith that is baptized into Christ (Galatians 3:26-27) to “put on Christ.” Without this clothing, you are not prepared to start a holy relationship with God.

Entering into Christ is essential to being acceptable to God. His love invites you into Christ, but you are not automatically in Christ just because God loves you.

God’s love will not force your love and service to Him. He certainly wants to attract your love, but He will not force you to love Him. Seeking to know Him can start you toward realizing how wonderful He is, and that can certainly attract your love, but He will not force you to seek Him and know Him. He makes that knowledge accessible, but He will not spoon-feed you, forcing you to swallow what you don’t want to swallow.

Preventing You from Going to Torment

Love will not prevent you from rejecting the One who loves you so that you won’t experience the consequences of your choice. We would certainly hate the thing that locked you into the choice, and we would hate that you hated yourself and us to such an extreme, but the prodigal son’s father let his son choose his future and experience the consequences. Even at the point that he might never come to himself or even reach a point that the father never sees his son again.

Fortunately, the prodigal son came to himself before he died, but there is always a chance that he dies without ever coming to himself and coming home. The father knew it was a possibility that his son might never come home. There are many who waste every chance to reconcile and die having never come to themselves, sealing that never-reconciled state. The father did not prevent his son from the possible consequences of his choice. Neither does God.

His love will not prevent you from sealing your determination to treat the great salvation with neglect (Hebrews 2:1f) and trample (Hebrews 10:25-28) the appeal of Jesus’ death for you. You are allowed to seal your love for distance (that is what we foolishly wanted for so long) from God and neglect so great salvation even to the permanence of that choice.

Things God’s Love Will Do

God’s love will provide a conditional way for you to be saved. These conditions do not merit salvation; that is, they do not put God under obligation to owe it to you because you actually earned your way. These conditions are within your power to do. For example, I could (if I had it) offer you $1,000,000 on condition that you come to me, take the car key from my hand, go to the trunk of my car, open it and retrieve the free gift I offered. If you believed me enough to do those things, you did not earn the money. It was still a free gift. The conditions were all part of whether you believed me. You didn’t get the money by faith only, just saying you believed, but by believing enough to come get the key from my hand and going to the trunk of my car and retrieving the free gift. The conditions were not works of merit, and I did not owe you the money. The conditions were certainly doable. But did you really believe me?
There is no excuse for not meeting these conditions. You could easily have taken the key and walked to my car. God told the believers on Pentecost to repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and they would receive the gift (Acts 2:37-41). No one was forced to take the gift, and no one was forced to reject the gift. Those who were wise chose to believe enough to acquire the gift, and those who were foolish chose their own fate, the neglect of so great salvation.

God loves us all enough to try to attract our better possibilities and potential. He even did what was very painful to Himself to demonstrate His love for you. He even provided the greatest incentives, the inheritance of a return to paradise, laying down His life to try to win your heart without forcing you, and if you thought so little of Him and of yourself, let you go with your choice.

He never stopped loving you, even as the father of the prodigal son never stopped loving his son even if he never got to see him again. That was a love that grieved for his son but never forced his son to come home before it was too late. The son could have stayed away until he couldn’t come home, and that would have grieved his father, but the father knew he had provided good things for his son to remember even if his son might choose to forget those things. Fortunately, this son came to himself, remembered, and came home. Unfortunately, many sons never come home.

God Is Love

How do you define “love”? It is not automatic forgiveness and acceptance. The father loved his son but would not have accepted his son into his house with his riotous living. The son is not allowed to live riotously at home. If he wants to live riotously, he has to do that away from his father’s house. The father does not stop loving him but can’t accept his behavior in the father’s house. The father’s love wants the son in a good relationship but cannot have a good relationship while the son is behaving riotously (drinking, partying, having sex parties in the father’s house). Love says that is not accepted here, and you are not automatically forgiven even as you behave in determined rebellion. God is love, and love has standards of behavior that are acceptable in His house, and standards that will not be tolerated in His house.

God’s love does not mean all are accepted. You are loved even while yet a sinner, and love provides “access into His grace” (Romans 5:1), but love does not mean you are already in His grace. Love provided “access” (meaning you are not already in it) into His grace.

Disregarding His love and refusing to take the access route into His grace is still up to you. Love does not mean none will be lost; it means you foolishly refuse what love richly offered by way of access into His grace. That is on you and me.

What Does Love Mean?

That there is goodwill, mercy, and compassion already resident within His character. Love is goodwill, wanting what is good for you, and wanting good things for you even when you don’t love Him back. Love is goodwill that is merciful and works to provide a way of reconciliation but will not force you to respond wisely and favorably. God so loved you at the greatest price to Himself. Don’t blow your opportunity to experience and enjoy His greatness of Being, and the paradise that it will ultimately give you. His love is unconditional. It is His nature, but love is not the same as “acceptance” into fellowship in His house. Acceptance in His house is conditional. Love provides a way to be acceptable and access into His grace, but love is not unconditional acceptance. Be clear about the meaning of Him loving you while you were yet a sinner. He does! But being accepted into His fellowship, His house, and paradise is indeed very much conditional. Do you love Him enough to swallow your pride and come home to Him?