My wife has become a hyper-charismatic

Question:

Dear Jeffrey,

I hope you are doing well and that your weekend was good. I would like to ask for your thoughts on a situation. To make a long story short, my household is of different beliefs. Both my wife and I are members of the church, but over time, through personal experiences and following certain teachers, my spouse has adopted some "hyper-charismatic" beliefs: you have to be very careful about being witched, there are still Apostles and Prophets with live call-in shows, people (even Christians) need deliverance from demons, etc. At the same time, "every church" is apparently okay; it is just a matter of "You do you, and I'll do me." It becomes a real problem when I try to ask questions about whether a belief is biblical, etc. My spouse often becomes very unapproachable and flips it back, accusing me of being a religious "know-it-all," a Pharisee, and other things. And I certainly do not help matters because I sometimes get sensitive as well, and my emotions (frustration especially) can get the best of me. We both end up making mistakes with our words and attitudes when this happens. In any case, trying to show a "Berean spirit" by checking doctrines and beliefs against the Scriptures is a dangerous prospect that invites ridicule. Even asking questions like "What does this prophet teach about baptism?" ends up in "Ask them! Leave me alone." So, over time, I have become quiet and shy instead of saying what I feel should be said. Discernment and discretion are valuable things!

I know what I need to do in this situation—pray, pray, and pray. And to love my wife no matter what. The good thing, as I've said, is that my wife is of the church, but the teachings she's adopted just seem so far off to me. And she does not prevent or protest me from attending church services and so on. But she personally wants nothing to do with it—she just wants to watch her "prophet" teachers online instead. I know what the Bible says about living with unbelieving spouses, though I know this case is slightly different because she isn't "unbelieving" in that sense. But it is tough. Our marriage and love for each other are both very strong and good, but this problem makes it very hard to communicate openly. I often feel tempted not to be honest—to be quiet or say I'm okay when, in fact, that situation is bothering me. It is disheartening to try and ask about the Scriptures and then get blasted with endless testimonies and anecdotes instead of the Bible, accusations of being a Pharisee, or Bible concepts (in my view) being taken too far and out of context.

For my wife, there are some old wounds related to the church. She grew up in a church of Christ that may have taught correct doctrine, but there was dishonesty, immorality, and other things in the church. And, as I mentioned, very sensitive personal experiences seemed to confirm beliefs for her that are very common in her culture (e.g., Witchcraft, spirits, demons, etc.). I still hold out hope because she is not opposed to my continuing with the local brethren, and there are local Christians who love her and hope to reach out to her. There is a lot of stubbornness in this matter, I must say. But we will be praying for a heart to change from pride to humility.

If you don't mind giving some advice, I'd appreciate it. I also need prayers to be gentler and more self-controlled, but also bold in what needs to be believed and said. We have a good marriage, and my wife truly has a very grounded sense of Christian belief and morality. But when her current beliefs are challenged, it becomes a battle. So, this is a crucial area that can sometimes become toxic.

Thank you very much and take care. May God bless your efforts and work in the Kingdom.