Parenting Battles

by Randall Caselman

A game reserve in Africa was experiencing difficulties with young bull elephants. They were going on rampages, killing other wildlife and just generally being destructive in the park. They were even killing endangered rhinos, and no one knew why. As a result, several of the young bulls had to be put down. That didn't seem to help because each time, another rose to take his place.

Someone observed that there were no adult elephants in the offending herds. Based on this observation, park rangers introduced several older elephants into the herds to see if they would have any impact on the young rogues. Sure enough, within only a few days, the larger, older, wiser males asserted themselves as leaders, and the young bulls took their place under the adult supervision. The raids and killings stopped.

The moral of our story is that our youth need the teaching and example of older and wiser parents.

Parents must be willing to fight for what is right, regardless of what our culture stands for or what is politically correct. Fathers and mothers must be assertive, loving, understanding, and patient, yet display leadership that stands firmly upon biblical principles.

Parents must battle for family time. Recent research indicates that fathers spend 6.5 hours a week focused directly on their children, while mothers spend 12.9 hours. We, as parents, must understand that the responsibility for raising our children does not belong to the government, schools, or the church, but to us. Paul admonishes: "Do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" (Galatians 6.4). How many of us regret working too hard, being gone too much, missing out on so many priceless moments in our children's lives? Moments that can never be recovered? Don't let another day go by where we're not involved in our child's life: listen to them, teach them, and model for them.

Parents must battle for family priorities. Family priorities are not for sale, not to the corporate world, not to entertainment, not to education, not to some political agenda. The command from Mount Sinai was "No other gods before Me." "No other gods in My presence." It was Jesus who commanded: "Love God with all your heart, mind, strength, and soul." Parents, these two verses set our family priorities, and there appears to be no place for compromise. We must ask ourselves: What is the number one heart's desire and prayer to God for our children when they are grown? It had better be that they know God and have a salvational relationship with Him. Anything else is spiritually useless. "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?" (Matthew 16.26).

Parents must battle for wholesome entertainment. The entertainment media is preoccupied with sex, violence, and profanity that battle for our minds. Rodney Shaw gives us some questions to consider in our choices:

1. Can I maintain my Christian witness and engage in this activity?
2. Can I glorify God in this?
3. Can I invoke the blessing of God for my involvement?
4. Would I be comfortable inviting my spiritual mentor to engage in this activity with me?
5. Does this activity promote godly attitudes and behaviors?
6. Do I leave this time more or less equipped for living for Jesus?
7. Does this leave me feeling as though I have compromised my values and violated my conscience?

Parents must battle for control over the TV, video, and movies watched, the books read, and the websites visited.

Point to Jesus. I suppose there's no place where the writer of Hebrews' advice is any more important than in the family circle: "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith" (Hebrews 12.2). We need to teach our children to be like Jesus: to have His heart, His attitude, His disposition, and His behavior, and to react to life as He did, regardless of how it comes at us. Parents! We need to celebrate what it means to be Jesus' man, Jesus' woman. We fathers are not to model the macho masculinity of John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Mel Gibson, or Justin Bieber. Mothers! Who are we encouraging our daughters to model their lives after? I hope it is not after the sexuality of Angelina Jolie, Madonna, or Miley Cyrus. Parents!... There is a better model: Jesus.

Parenting is not rocket science: It's about showing up, being involved, modeling Jesus, and the rest will take care of itself... Amen?