Can I break a deal I made with God?
Question:
Hello,
Last year, I promised God some things in exchange for Him healing or freeing me from OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). I promised to stop watching a series that I watched a lot, horror movies, and anime. Well, now I am in psychiatric treatment and I still have OCD, but the thing is that in my hope of being free from this disorder, I made that promise to God, but then I broke it, which led me to a worse anxiety crisis.
The thing is that I am now watching soap operas that are worse than the series that I had been watching.
The problem is that I regret having made that promise without thinking it through, without considering whether I could fulfill it. The question is that I want to retract that promise, but not to be able to sin freely, but to choose better what I can watch and what I cannot.
I am on God's path, and I have improved significantly on this path. I plan to continue in this direction because it is the only path to life, and I need it.
But sometimes I want to watch a romantic movie without intimate scenes or series or cartoons. I know I'm just making excuses. My mind keeps making me feel guilty about it.
That's why my question is, can I retract this vow or promise that I can't keep because it's really hard for me, and even makes me cry with sadness for having promised something that was my hobby?
What can I do? I need some advice before making a decision. Please answer me.
Answer:
Let me be clear, God doesn't need your promises. Promises don't make you more truthful or more likely to keep your word. Instead, promises not kept are nothing more than lies. "But I say to you, make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes' or 'No, no'; anything beyond these is of evil" (Matthew 5:34-37).
If you are compulsively watching shows that contain inappropriate content, then that is wrong in and of itself. "Do not be deceived: 'Bad company corrupts good morals" (I Corinthians 15:33). Promising not to do something wrong is foolish since God already requires you to stay away from evil.
If you made a foolish vow, then apologize to God for making promises when you were told not to do so.
It is proper to ask God for help dealing with your OCD or to ask for it to be cured if possible. You don't have to add anything extra to gain God's notice or to "force" Him to respond. You tell Him what you need, and He will respond as He sees best. "This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him" (I John 5:14-15).
