Miss Grace on Hospitality
by Marlene Smelser
via Sentry Magazine, Vol. 14, No. 3, September 30, 1988
Miss Grace:
Can you say anything to help with the situation here? Few women ever invite visitors into their homes, and for all their hospitality and entertainment, no one seems to realize they would enjoy being entertained for a change.
Kind Reader:
Imagine it is 1925, sultry August, cicada weather, early Sunday morning in a rural Arkansas community. Katy Hathcoat is preparing dinner for several guests besides children, who will eat during a second seating. Never mind the day's rising heat, a fire is built in the cookstove. Squawking chickens must be killed, dressed, and cooked, for without a refrigerator, they could not have been butchered yesterday. She hurries while cooking breakfast for her family. Garden vegetables were picked yesterday to be cooked this morning. Pies or cakes are ready. Butter is hand-churned. On the tables are fresh cloths and napkins boiled over a fire in the yard, then crisped with cooked starch and ironed with heavy flat irons heated over a fire. After worship, she finishes her ministrations over that scorching stove with no air-conditioning to relieve her burning face. And she does this almost every Sunday. Sisters, let us hang our pampered heads in shame and admit our wimpiness.
Heads up. Move ahead to the fifties. It is Katy's daughter's kitchen where, despite her outside job five days a week, the custom of Sunday dinner guests still holds. She must do house cleaning on Saturday and then begin cooking, work late, and rise early. She manipulates her menu to fit her time. Her children love it and respect her for doing it. All job-holding sisters who think it can't be done, hang your heads again.
Now, it is 1988. Katy's daughter is confined to a wheelchair. A preacher drives some distance to preach where she worships. Where shall he eat dinner and spend the afternoon? No one else invites him, so she and her husband do. They drive to Bonanza, order dinners to take out and go home to enjoy their food and each other's company.
Most of us deserve to stand in the corner the rest of the week while contemplating some old-fashioned plans for next Sunday. What excuses dare we offer when we have pan-ready chickens, luxurious equipment, more money, and finer houses? Why is hospitality dead?
Miss Grace fears many are not aware of the meaning of biblical hospitality or that it is not optional. "Given to hospitality" is commanded (Romans 12:13). Hospitality means loving strangers (Vine). You see, it is not fulfilled when entertaining our best friends or relatives. So, who are these "strangers"? Sisters, let us look at our assemblies and think who would benefit from our entertainment. What about the visitor who is not a Christian, the new Christian whose family members are unbelievers, that college student away from home, or the family who just moved in? What about the preacher during a meeting? Why do the same few names appear on the meal list? Besides those, what about the widow or the widower? Consider who, in some sense, is alone or unknown.
Do you lack experience and get nervous? Keep it simple. Do you not have a proper dining room? So? The high-style scenes in women's magazines should not intimidate us. You cannot cook well enough? What is your family planning to do on Sunday? Fast? Do you eat out on Sundays? Take guests with you. Is it too expensive? Then start cooking. Could you never match Sister Perfect's skills? She also had to learn. You cannot have company because you have small children? They can learn to set the table. In fact, the ideal way to learn this principle of selflessness is by growing up and helping in a home where Biblical hospitality is a regular practice. Miss Grace is about to have a headache from all these excuses.
Deep down, do we really think this is the duty of the elders and their wives? It is. But remember Romans 12:13? We all are charged. Dare Miss Grace wonder if the preacher's wife is expected to do most of it? No, that is denominational thinking, of course. Right. Sisters, we are all in this together. Our task is a breeze compared to Katy's. Do you wonder if anyone ever entertained her? Do you think she would have been delighted?
Aprons. Remember them? Let's get one and go to work, sisters.
