Why do I find out I made a stupid mistake after the fact?

Question:

I would like to ask for guidance, wisdom, and understanding. I have been a Christian for almost a year.

Neither my mother nor my father are people you would think of as Christians or churchgoers. My mother was hurt and made it a point to estrange me from my family at a young age. My father has a very questionable character and has hurt many women and all of his children as well who are in different broken homes. Whenever I need mature advice from them, it is very hard to talk to them because they give advice that goes against the Bible and doctrine. They really do mean well, their lives were just a certain way, which caused them to behave the way they do. There has been too much trauma involved to the point of us being no longer in contact. I am working on forgiveness currently because that’s what God wants.

I say this to pose a question: Why do I always feel that God helps me when it’s too late? I am struggling with my faith. I completely understand that God gives us more grace than we could ever know, and He provides things like the sun, the moon, the rain, the water, and the animals. When it comes down to me not making a decision that can alter the course of my life in a negative way or whenever I seek answers before I’m too emotionally invested in whatever I want to do.

It’s like I can never find anyone to care enough to guide me the correct way. They always come the day before I’m going to make a decision or very soon before, and by that time, the devil has already come in with all of his opposing doctrines, and I’m already very emotionally invested in what I want to do. I don’t even lie and pretend like I’m going to follow the advice that they’re telling me. It genuinely seems impossible to take advice at that point. However, there is a period of time when I will be very open to what I’m supposed to do and where I’m supposed to go, but it’s always complete silence at that time when I’m receptive.

It seems that God will send someone to stop me from getting hit by a car right before, even though I’ve already made my decision to walk in front of it.  But He’ll never send someone to reinforce why I should never walk in the street in the first place without looking at the level of emotionality that I would listen to as a woman. He always sends this person with this level of emotionality that He knows I’ll be receptive to later on. I always understand His guidance and wisdom after I’ve made a terrible decision that I am emotionally connected to. Why does it have to show up so late?

I am a woman in my twenties. I notice how people in the older generations say that we are so weak and we do such stupid things. I feel like there’s a failure to realize that you guys came up in a generation where there were plenty of strong men to help reinforce you. A lot of us do not have access to that at all before we do those "stupid things." You guys also came up in a generation where it was a shame not to go to church. We come up in a generation where we get shamed for believing and going to church.

I don’t think God hates me. I just want to know why He comes so late sometimes. He understands how I was raised, which led to my level of emotionality, which leads to the gap between when I listen to Him, and when the devil takes over. I just don’t understand why He allows it to get this bad when He can change it in the snap of a finger.