Why are all the guys I date bums?
Good day minister,
A man of God met me and introduced me to his brother saying God said he will be my husband. I met the guy. We talked, but I found out there was no compatibility between us. I don't love him, perhaps "like" I will say. But along the way, we sinned against God by fornicating. He always has money issues, making me feel as if he wants to date me for money. Then the brother who is the man of God was praying for another girl who is a friend of mine. He claimed God revealed his brother to him, so this friend of mine came to tell me, who was not there when they were praying for her the vision to come, that the guy is supposed to be for her. So much drama!
Please, I need a word of advice from you. All the guys I have dated always ask for money from me. I always give but never receive. I have not had a good relationship in life, and I have fornicated in my past relationships. Please pray for me, and let me know whether to keep hoping for a life partner. I really want to make it to heaven and forsake my sins.
"But these, like natural brute beasts made to be caught and destroyed, speak evil of the things they do not understand, and will utterly perish in their own corruption, and will receive the wages of unrighteousness, as those who count it pleasure to carouse in the daytime. They are spots and blemishes, carousing in their own deceptions while they feast with you, having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease from sin, enticing unstable souls. They have a heart trained in covetous practices, and are accursed children. They have forsaken the right way and gone astray, following the way of Balaam the son of Beor, who loved the wages of unrighteousness; but he was rebuked for his iniquity: a dumb donkey speaking with a man's voice restrained the madness of the prophet. These are wells without water, clouds carried by a tempest, for whom is reserved the blackness of darkness forever. For when they speak great swelling words of emptiness, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through lewdness, the ones who have actually escaped from those who live in error. While they promise them liberty, they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by whom a person is overcome, by him also he is brought into bondage" (II Peter 2:12-19).
John warned that just because a person claims to be a teacher from God, that claim doesn't make him one. "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world" (I John 4:1). How do you detect a false teacher? By looking at what they produce. "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them" (Matthew 7:15-20).
To call this person a "man of God" is an insult to God. This man is not of God! He and his brother are operating a scam. How do I know?
- Well, first, prophecy ended a long time ago. See: Does God Speak Directly to Mankind Today? for proof of this claim.
- Next, the man claimed to have a revelation regarding who you were to marry. Read through your Bible, and tell me where it says that God picks out each person's spouse. What I find in the Bible is God telling us how to find a good spouse, which means we do our own picking. I suspect that this man knew how badly you wanted a husband and offer you just what you wanted to hear, so you would not question what was told to you. "For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables" (II Timothy 4:3-4).
- Then it just happens to be his own brother who is supposed to be your mate. How convenient!
- Then this brother constantly is asking for money from you and eventually gets free sex from you as well.
- When it is clear things are cooling down, the false prophet gets another, contradictory vision that his brother is meant for another person. Since when does God ever contradict himself? "But the prophet who presumes to speak a word in My name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or who speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet shall die. And if you say in your heart, 'How shall we know the word which the LORD has not spoken?' - when a prophet speaks in the name of the LORD, if the thing does not happen or come to pass, that is the thing which the LORD has not spoken; the prophet has spoken it presumptuously; you shall not be afraid of him" (Deuteronomy 18:20-22).
Cut these evil men out of your life. Stop going to churches where you are offered just what you want to hear instead of what you need to hear. You made a number of foolish mistakes in your past, but you don't have to continue repeating them in your future. Turn away from all these sins. Trust that God will take care of His righteous followers. Will you find a husband? I can't see the future, but I do know you are more likely to find a good man by following God's teachings on what to look for in a husband than by letting false prophets tell you who to marry.
Thank you so much! I will read through all you have said. The whole prophecy thing is entangled. I found out he would have preferred the girl for his brother and not me, so he said that he prayed again and said his brother was not for me. He also made a statement that I do not need a life partner.
I need God's direction, sir. I am tired of all the drama. In my past relationships, men always take from me, but I don't receive, and now it is again the same story. What's your advice? Should I end it? Should I seek God's face for a true life partner?
I already stated that you need to cut these men out of your life. You were lied to. You don't need these people in your life.