When We Assess Other People, What Is Revealed?
by Gary Henry
via WordPoints.com
"Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment" (John 7:24).
When we’re evaluating other people, we need to be careful. Jesus spoke to this issue when He said, “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.” We owe it to those around us to avoid snap judgments based on first impressions and outward appearances. Getting at the truth requires digging below the surface, but it’s work well worth doing.
When we have a strained relationship, we often try to improve it by being patient with the other person, adopting a more positive attitude, and learning better communication techniques. Without a doubt, practices like these can be helpful. But in too many cases, we fail to work on what would yield the greatest results: learning to see the other person more fully and more accurately.
As Stephen R. Covey used to emphasize in his teachings, “The way we see the problem is the problem.” If you and I are having a relationship problem, it is probably caused, to a great extent, by at least one of us viewing the other in an inadequate or untrue way. Now, if you are viewing me wrongly, there may not be much I can do about that. But what I can do is “whittle on my end of the stick.” I can ask my conscience whether my view of you is hurting the relationship. If that is even partially true, when I start seeing you differently, the relationship will improve.
But let’s go even deeper. When we assess other people, what is revealed? I suggest that what is revealed, more than anything else, is ourselves. Our assessment of others is influenced greatly by our own personal characteristics. (For example, if treachery is one of our own character traits, we’ll be more than a little suspicious of everybody we meet. “You can’t trust anybody anymore” will be our motto.) So if I need to see your character more positively, the best thing I can do is work on my own character. And, friends, that is one of the best reasons for us to grow up in Christ. We can’t see others as we should if we won’t be what we should. So do we want better relationships? Then let’s make it our main passion every day to upgrade the godliness of our character — our principles, our values, our conduct, our motives, our hopes, and our aspirations.
"A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart" (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe).
