When does jealousy go too far?

Answer:

Jealousy can be used in a righteous sense when someone wants to keep what legitimately belongs to him. Thus, in warning Israel away from idols, God declares: "You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me" (Exodus 20:5).

The relationship between a husband and wife is also an exclusive relationship that is jealously guarded. "Put me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, jealousy is as severe as Sheol; its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD" (Song of Solomon 8:6). Like death, the love between a husband and wife does not easily relinquish its hold. Thus, a husband would be right to feel jealous if his wife was having sex with another man (Proverbs 6:34-35).

However, jealousy is a strong emotion that can easily overcome a person's reason. "Wrath is fierce, and anger is a flood, but who can stand before jealousy?" (Proverbs 27:4). While marriage is an exclusive relationship, it does not mean that the husband controls every interaction his spouse has with others. It would be impractical and wrong for a husband to state that his wife cannot talk to another man. He cannot control who his wife has for friends. There should be a level of trust between a husband and wife, such that he is confident she reserves herself exclusively for him, even while she is dealing with other people. "Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant" (I Corinthians 13:4).