The man I am seeing is married. How do I fix this problem?
Question:
What am I to do? I came out of a bad relationship and began seeing someone at work who is in fact married. Co-workers always said he had always said he's going to find the right woman for himself. He had another girlfriend who worked there before for probably seven years. She was married too. So they were both cheating. He tells me of his wife's faults and that he was never happy with her, just settled since he worked 20 years to support his twin girls who are now 18 and in their first year of college. She never saved money, just spent it and blew whatever dreams they had. He wanted to see that his girls can finally take care of themselves and then he'd separate. He thinks that if he does it now, they will go downhill, drop out of college and then, God forbid, they became pregnant, or something. He could never get out of debt. He makes me no promises. Just says how much he enjoys being with me and so wishes that he could stay without hurting his daughters. He used to stay until the girls got wind and cried to him, "Why are you doing this to us?" So, I don't hassle him, yet I know that the Lord is watching and wants me to tell him that there has to be something done or nothing, There are ways through the church to either patch up, or get out of something that you know you will never be happy in. It's not right and I am going to tell him that I won't see him anymore. We see each other every day. I live alone. I am involved in every part of his life, except for his marriage and children. I am a fool, I know, but I need to know how to address this.
Answer:
So why are you making yourself out to be a victim? You are having relations with a married man; the common designation of this is that you are an adulteress. Or, as Dr. Laura Schlessinger likes to state, you are this man's unpaid whore. He feeds you all these sob stories, and you give him free sex in return.
You are incorrect in stating that he is able to leave his marriage because he is unhappy. He is an adulterer. "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). Since he is the adulterer, he has no right to marry another person. If he does so both he and the one he marries will be treated as adulterers by God.
And why would you want a man who is unable to honor his vows before God? It doesn't matter that he is "unhappy." Just realize that even if he married you, in a few short years he will find reasons to be "unhappy" with you and start seeing other women giving them a similar sob story about you. "They are spots and blemishes, carousing in their own deceptions while they feast with you, having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease from sin, enticing unstable souls. They have a heart trained in covetous practices, and are accursed children" (II Peter 2:13-14).
What do you do? Change the locks on your doors, change your phone number, tell the bum to go back to his wife where he belongs, and then get down on your knees and pray to the Good Lord to forgive your foolish and destructive sins.
"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10).
