Respect (Moyer)

by Doy Moyer

Being made in God’s image requires that we respect (esteem) one another as fellow divine image-bearers. This stands under the “golden rule,” as stated by Jesus: “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12). The connection to loving neighbor as self should be noted in the phrase, “this is the Law and the Prophets,” for Jesus said the two greatest commandments (love God and love neighbor as self) are the foundation of all the rest: “On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:36-40).

Respect takes humility. Lack of respect shows itself in pride and self-acclamation. Yet having the mind of Christ, who emptied himself by coming in the flesh and dying on the cross, requires that we deny self and esteem others as more important. Paul wrote, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4). To do good for the sake of others and at the sacrifice of self is a high calling, but it’s what our Lord did for us.

With this in mind, consider some areas in which we need to respect one another. We note up front that none of these are about defending sinful decisions. Rather, these are areas in which anyone may freely operate and have some level of expectation that others will show some respect.

Property

We understand that all things ultimately belong to God, and He gives us material things to be in our charge. We also know that God expects us to be generous with what we have and share with those in need. We are not to trust in the uncertainty of riches, but in God (I Timothy 6:17-19). With that, there is still a sense in which what God provides is considered personal property, and we need to respect that. This is seen in the prohibition against stealing and coveting (Exodus 20:15, 17; Ephesians 4:28; Romans 13:9). God desires that we be good stewards, but we are not allowed to take what belongs to others (Cf. Deuteronomy 19:14).

Privacy

Respecting what belongs to others extends to more personal matters. If, for example, there is an expectation of modesty in apparel, then we should grant that the body is private and not to be openly displayed to the world. There is privacy between husbands and wives (cf. I Corinthians 7:4). Further, we should respect what others wish to disclose or keep to themselves. The sin of gossip is a violation of this privacy trust. The stories of others are not ours to decide when and where to tell if we have not been given that permission. “A whisperer separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28) because there is a breach of trust that did not respect privacy. God gives us the right to keep private things private.

Personality

Not everyone is of the same demeanor and personality. Some are more outgoing, some less so. Some are more adventurous, some not so much. Personalities are vast and varied, and we need to protect those differences. No one should try to force others into their personality or think that others are inferior because they don’t show the same personality traits as others. Among the apostles, we can see personality differences, even seen in the gospel accounts or epistles penned by them. Not everyone is a Barnabas (Acts 4:36), a Peter, or a Paul, but we each can contribute and grow using what we have in our talent pool (cf. Romans 12:6-8).

Preferences

As personalities differ, so do preferences. We cannot expect people to prefer everything exactly the same way, and we overstep the line if we try to force personal preferences on others. Working together requires that we sometimes deny what we might prefer, and sometimes we might need to give up rights for the sake of others and for peace (Romans 14). These differences should be seen within the context of God’s kingdom bringing in people from all nations and walks of life. Differences like this (not sinful) should be acknowledged and protected.

Position

While we are all one in Christ (Galatians 3:28), we work in differing positions and are to function appropriately. Whether we are talking about the work of elders or parents, these positions come with special work that others need to respect. For example, no one would appreciate another stepping in presumptuously to act like a mother to a child who has a dedicated mother. Elders have oversight of a congregation, but would be out of bounds to assume that over other groups (I Peter 5:2). The positions we have do not make us superior to others, but they do require caretaking and accountability.

When we respect others appropriately as all are made in God’s image, we will be supporting the godly path toward peace, unity, and love, whether we are in a context of a church or a larger neighborhood community. Through respect, we become the citizens God wants us to be as we interact with others.