I am 21 years old and am in a relationship. Is it too early?
My boyfriend confessed to me that he fornicated once with his first girlfriend, and he really regrets and feels really so bad when he remembers it. He has never shared it with anyone except me, and it really took courage to tell me.
We have dated for one year, and he wants to kiss me. I really don't know if it's right to do so, especially it being my first time to date. He says he has always known that I am a virgin, and he doesn't plan to take that away from me -- not today, not any time, until marriage. But my friend told me kissing is bad. It should wait until marriage. However, she does so in her relationship with her boyfriend. For me, I think I can reach that extent if truly your intentions are to marry. Except that I can't fornicate, which my boyfriend isn't either willing to do so too. But he insists on kissing me and he says that a kiss can't take away my virginity.
He broke up with the girl because she had an affair with another man and he impregnated her. This broke his heart to pieces. Somehow I am trying to rebuild it. I do love him so much and one thing I love about him is that he also loves God and acknowledges that I am a God-fearing lady. Sometimes I really fear having good moments with him, especially now that we are in the same school because I feel shy, and I am conscious of what will people say. He is hardworking, clean, and always organized. He is also very affectionate.
I have not shared this with my parents because I still don't know if it's the right time to be dating, especially now that my mum insists on pursuing schooling first. We are from different cultures but the same religion with different doctrines. He is an Adventist and I am a Protestant.
Kindly help if I should still push on with it and how to go about such situations.
Thank you in advance.
All kisses are not alike. You aren't going to be upset if his aunt gives him a peck on the cheek when she comes visiting. Depending on the culture, a kiss is a form of greeting. This is why we find "Greet one another with a holy kiss" (II Corinthians 13:12). If there are holy kisses, then it implies there are some forms of kissing that are unholy. To find out that your husband was involved in a deep passionate kiss with another woman would be upsetting.
Therefore, there is nothing wrong with giving your boyfriend a quick hello or good-bye kiss, but deep passionate kisses that leave you sexually aroused and nearly out of your mind are, at best, dangerous waters for two people who are not married to each other.
It sounds like your boyfriend made a mistake and sinned with his former girlfriend, but he learned from his mistake and doesn't want to repeat it.
The fact that you are hiding your interest in him from your parents is not a good sign.
"Protestant" is a general term for numerous denominations that had their start protesting against the Roman Catholic denomination. Seventh-Day Adventists started in the 1800s and are followers of the teachings of Mary Baker Edding, a self-claimed prophetess. There are numerous differences between what Seventh-Day Adventists teach and what the various Protestant religions teach, just as all of these denominations teach differently from the Bible. (See We Are Simply Christians Without Being Members of Any Denomination. You Can Be Too!.) What you need to consider is how your future children are going to be raised. They will not appreciate Christianity if their own parents can't agree on how and where they should worship.
Thank you so much, Jeffrey. This has really helped me. I don't think it's right for us to push on with it.
I truly appreciate it. God bless you and the entire team for coming up with such a web to help the youth.