Is it wrong to get advice from non-Christians?
Question:
Good morning, Brother Hamilton,
I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to express my gratitude for the valuable resources on your website, which have been a blessing to me over the years.
I have a question regarding scriptural authority for seeking counseling outside the church. Specifically, is there scriptural support for advocating that Christians seek therapists, counselors, or psychiatrists for marital counseling, particularly from the pulpit?
During a recent Bible study, a brother asserted that therapists and psychiatrists are bound by ethical codes that prevent them from encouraging divorce. I expressed concern about the possibility of some therapists promoting divorce, but he disagreed. Additionally, an elder shared his experience of receiving help from a military chaplain for communication issues in his marriage and asked where one could find such counseling. I suggested that the Bible or a mature Christian couple could provide guidance.
While I agree that secular advice aligning with Scripture can be beneficial, I am concerned about the increasing encouragement to seek counsel outside the church. Should we direct Christians to external sources for issues the Bible addresses?
Could you provide guidance on where Scripture addresses counseling and whether there are specific passages that support seeking therapists for life issues?
Thank you for your time and insights.
Answer:
There are numerous passages regarding the wisdom of getting advice before making major decisions. Just as you won't find passages regarding flying an airplane, you won't find passages on psychologists and therapists since these professions date back to 1879. Thus, you have to look at the principles laid down by God and not for specific directions.
A wise man seeks counsel. "Where there is no wise guidance, the nation falls, but in the multitude of counselors there is victory" (Proverbs 11:14). Earthly wisdom is focused on one's self. Thus, we should not be surprised that a fool thinks his ideas are best. "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who is wise listens to counsel" (Proverbs 12:15). However, the wise man knows that he doesn't know everything. He realizes that his own personal bias can make him blind. "I know, O LORD, that a man's way is not in himself, nor is it in a man who walks to direct his steps" (Jeremiah 10:23).
If we are going to find the best solution, we must consider all possibilities, especially those we might not have considered ourselves. It is one reason we study the Bible. "A wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel" (Proverbs 1:5). At the same time, we realize that any old counsel is not good. We want counsel from people knowledgeable in that field. I’m not going to ask my mechanic about the leak in my home’s roof. My doctor might not be the best person to ask why my car is idling roughly. Thus, we are warned not to follow the advice of the wicked. "Blessed is the man who doesn't walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the way of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers" (Psalms 1:1).
The difficulty people run into when seeking out advice is that they often turn to "experts" without considering the source the expert is drawing his advice from. The greatest source of wisdom is God (Proverbs 9:9-11). The surest councils are God’s (Proverbs 19:20-21).
What about seeing a therapist for advice? Psychologists typically avoid giving direct advice to clients for several reasons.
- Giving advice goes against ethical codes that warn therapists not to impose their values on clients. [Stephanie Hairston, "Why Won’t My Therapist Just Tell Me What to Do? (3 Good Reasons)," Open Counseling].
- Therapy aims to help clients make their own decisions, and giving advice can make clients dependent on the therapist. ["Do Therapists Give Advice? Exploring the Nature of Therapeutic Guidance," Grouport.]
- Therapists believe that things that work for one person may not work for another person. They don't subscribe to universal standards. [Ibid.]
In other words, a therapist merely attempts to guide a person to reach their own conclusions. While this makes the client feel better about their choices, it does nothing to improve the accuracy of their choices. Don't conclude that therapy is useless. Some people need help sorting out their thoughts and emotions. Therapists can help people find better ways to express their thoughts or how to better communicate with other people. However, no one should assume that sorted thoughts and emotions are a solution to problems.
