I decided to stop having sex with the man I’ve been living with for nearly 15 years. Is that wrong?
Question:
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly fifteen years. We live together and have a preteen child. It's a new year and I decided not to have sex with him until he asks me to marry him. Is that wrong? Is it wrong to sleep in the bed with him, even though I have decided this? I have not told him because I've always gone to church, but I have realized I want to live for God. I want less of myself and more of Him (God). I don't want God to be angry with me for sinning against Him. What should I do? I know that He has forgiven me for my sins. Now I find myself changing and wanting to please God so much. Please help.
Answer:
"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10).
Stopping your sins is never wrong. You have been committing fornication with a man for years. Yet, you are not making a stand for what is right; instead, you are seeking compromise positions. You want to stop the sex, but you don't want to tell your boyfriend why. You haven't ended the pretense of being married.
After all these years, why don't the two of you just go down to the courthouse and get married?
Question:
I thank you so much. I will be telling him today why I have decided not to have sex. He has asked to marry me before, but I thought he was just joking because he didn't have a ring and we just never said anything again. Would it be wrong to tell him until he marries me, we need to live separately?
Answer:
Instead of approaching this as an ultimatum, why not put it positively? "I want to be married to you. Let's go down to the courthouse and make this relationship legitimate."
Response:
I will do that. I'll keep you updated. I thank you so much for your advice. God bless you!
