How do you be around someone who has done evil?



I’ve been reading through your website and have found your work interesting. I was wondering if you have some advice for me in a situation relating to my boyfriend and his family.

Recently my boyfriend’s stepmother filed for divorce against his father. Scripturally, both parties are in the wrong in different aspects. His stepmother is divorcing him over how he is trying to discipline her son (his stepson). His dad has also done wrong. He has not been faithful and has cheated on my boyfriend’s stepmother with her daughter. Something that his stepmother is not aware of at the moment to mine and my boyfriend’s knowledge. Overall, this is very ugly and something my boyfriend doesn’t want to go through again, even though he has no choice.

I was wondering what would be the best course of action for me to be supportive and help him through this difficult time. We have been studying the Bible together for most of our relationship and have had very thoughtfully conversion about what it says. He has grown up with mostly Baptist teaching while I attend a church of Christ.

Along this line how would you handle being around someone that has done so much evil and caused so much pain in his son's life as his father? My boyfriend and I are rather serious in our relationship and plan to get engaged and married one day. However, I worry about how I would act around his father and any potential fallout that could happen from this. His father knows that I and his son do not approve of his choices.

Thank you so much for your time.


There is no requirement that you have to invite evil into your life just because the evil person happens to be related to you in some way. Children are to be obedient to their parents "in the Lord" (Ephesians 6:1-3; Colossians 3:20). However, I assume that you and your boyfriend are no longer children. A child owes his parents respect but you can be respectful to someone without having close ties with them. Your boyfriend should check on his dad once in a while to make sure he is doing well, but he doesn't need to invite him into his home. And when he is married, he doesn't need to have his children around this man (II Corinthians 6:14-18).

Hopefully, the man will change before he faces God in judgment. Until that time, if he asks why the two of you are avoiding him, simply say that you cannot support the wrong that you know he has done.


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