How do I teach my girlfriend the truth?

Answer:

"Often asked question?" No, I don't get this question nearly often enough.

When teaching anyone, girlfriend, boyfriend, family, enemy, the first rule is always the same. You must keep in mind that your goal is not to prove that you are right. Your goal is to get another person to heaven.

"But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will" (II Timothy 2:23-26).

Getting your own personal ego out of the way is probably the hardest part about teaching the Bible to another. You are going to run into people who will challenge you, mock you, and misrepresent your position. If you focus on the issues and ignore anything that you see as a personal attack, you'll be a better position to remain calm.

The second rule follows from the first. This isn't about you, it is about what God says. So make your points by citing God's word.

"If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen" (I Peter 4:11).

I tease people when I start a study that I'm going to avoid giving my own opinion. It isn't that I don't have them, but I consider them to hold little value. I will answer questions by going to a verse and asking the person to read the verse out loud. As they read I listen carefully for any stumbling -- that usually means they don't understand the word used or the phrase doesn't make sense to them. I'll then help define the word or ask a question or two to make sure they grasped what they read. Then we talk about how that verse answers their question.

In doing it this way, the person with objections isn't arguing with you. He is in the position of arguing with God. I had one person tell me that baptism had nothing to do with salvation. I had him flip over to I Peter 3:21 and waited for him to read it. When he finished the verse, he looked at me and said, "That's just your opinion." Unwittingly, he made my point. Without my saying anything, he knew what that passage meant and that it was different from what he believed.

What I suggest is not to have a long drawn out study session. Instead, as topics come up, ask her to flip over to a verse and read it. At first, you're going to think, "I'll never remember which verses to use." Don't worry about it. With practice, it becomes easier. What I did for many years is jot topics and verses on those blank pages in the front and back of every Bible. When the topic of, say repentance, came up and I knew there was a good verse dealing with it, but I couldn't remember where, I would just flip to the front and refresh my memory. If someone asked me something that I didn't have a verse to answer, I would tell them I would get back to them. Then I would do some research and when I found some appropriate verses, I would add them to the list because I knew that question would come up again with someone else.

By keeping it away from a "me against you" situation, you won't undermine your relationship. You will also see first-hand your girlfriend's attitude toward the truth.