How do I move on after a divorce?
Question:
I have written before regarding my divorce from my husband of many years. I am still a mess. I can’t seem to shake this man who cheated, lied, and treated me badly in the end. He has since moved on with the women he was cheating with. I don’t think they have married but are certainly living together. Can you help me find a scripture to hold on to at night when all the thoughts of how he left me, traumatize me? I have been trying to tell myself, trust God, He has not brought me to this lonely place without a husband to remain here, but it has been several years since my divorce, and I still lay awake and suffer at night. I still miss him, even though he did me wrong. Do you think there is any hope of God bringing us back together, am I just foolish for even thinking of this? I want to pull myself together and trust in God, but I also want the pain, hurt, and desire for him to go away.
He has since gone to jail for DUI and is now writing my kids talking about God and how he is sober now. Should I just leave him be or would God want me to reach out to him and let him know how I feel?
P.S. I wanted you to know that I got my answer to the question from your site: It is what it is. This is what I need to focus on and move on the best I can with my life. Thank you so much for being so faithful and not afraid to speak God’s word and tell folks “the truth.”
Answer:
It isn't often that someone finds a good answer before I get a chance to respond. I'm glad you found one that is appropriate. The loneliness is going to continue as long as you dwell on it. Sadly, he made some really bad decisions. I don't know if he'll change his life around or not. I do know that it is easy to be sober when you have no access to alcohol. We can hope and pray that it sticks, but I've seen many do good in prison slip back into old habits when they are out. You need to take a wait and see attitude with this.
Meanwhile, you need to move on with life. If he manages to work out his problems and comes back to you, then you can decide. But if life takes you in a different direction, you've got to live life and serve the Lord while you can. "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going" (Ecclesiastes 9:10). So get back to enjoying life as it comes.
Response:
I am so grateful to you. Just a baby in Christ trying to figure out how to live my life righteously. Have a good day and thanks so much.
