How do I make my relationship more God-centered?
Question:
I know romantic relationships should be God-centered, but I'm having trouble doing this with my boyfriend. He's a Christian, but not too strong of a Christian. I tried to put God into our relationship by suggesting reading a Bible chapter together each day. We read only two times. I wanted to pray with him a lot together, but that's lessened too, and I'm always the one to bring up praying. He's a really close friend and we have a great relationship, except it's less "God-centered." How do I try to make it God-centered?
Answer:
Dating is supposed to be time two people spend getting to know who the other person is. As you get to know a person, you may find out that he isn't quite the person you expected or hoped he would be. But then we struggle with ourselves. You don't want to admit that you made a mistake. So the person tries dealing with the problem by either ignoring it, hoping it will go away or by trying to fix the other person.
Young women are especially susceptible to wanting to fix their man. People do change, but lasting change comes from within the person, not because it was imposed on them. You want a person who is more interested in reading the Bible and praying. But the truth is that your boyfriend isn't interested in either of those things. He may become interested one day, but it won't be because you insist that he read his Bible or pray with you. What is more likely to happen is that the harder you push, the harder he will resist those things.
What you have to do is decide if this is the type of man you want at your side for the rest of your life. You have to look at him as he is, not at who you think you might mold him into being. When a woman does the latter, she is gambling. A man might change, or he might not. If he changes, it is because he wants to change, not because others make him change. So when choosing a mate, you need to decide that if he never changes, that you still want to be with him. If you don't do this, you will be miserable with your choice.
Your greatest way to encourage change is through your example. That is why Peter said, "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives" (I Peter 3:1). Your actions will speak far louder and clearer than all the words you might use. If you want God to play a bigger role in your life, then you spend more time reading God's word and praying. If he joins you, wonderful! But if he doesn't care, then you need to start thinking about the future.
