How do I get my dad to see that his church isn’t good enough?


I have a problem I have been dealing with my father, and he simply does not understand. For many years we've been going to this small church. The people are nice. I would describe the church as traditional because it is Baptist. The majority of people who like to attend are seniors and a few people who have young kids.

However, as I have grown, so has my thirst for more of God. During the years we've gone to this church, usually on Sunday mornings, on Wednesdays nights we went to another church closer to home. This other church is larger and nondenominational. During Wednesday nights my siblings and I went to classes where we memorized verses and really, I mean, really do Bible study that is geared for kids. It was one of the highlights of my youth, and they really put the Word in me. They taught me how to pray and pray in the spirit.

Now, contrast that with the little Baptist church. They are wonderful people, I don't deny that, but they can no longer help me grow in the Spirit. A few months back I went to the pastor and asked him about praying in tongues and he said only in private and quoted to me church doctrine.

The only reason I go to this church is that my father serves as a reverend and he told me I need to continue going. But that leads me to ask you: what's the point of going to church if I am not growing spiritually? As I said the people are nice and have contributed a vast deal to help me go on missions and sponsored me for other events, for that I am grateful but that's not enough. I need the Word in me.

Another reason I've been going increasingly to the nondenominational church close to my home is that they have prayer nights for 2-3 hours and it's just amazing. Moreover, the best part is discipleship. I don't have that with the Baptist Church. There's no one I can really go to and just have them mentor me. While people are kind, the relationships tend to be platonic. We've come to know some people but not to that level where they will pour into me and my life spiritually. I'm not trying to sound rude but the Baptist Church is ruled by doctrine and while they do believe in the power of the Holy Spirit,  they deny that power.

As for me, I'm just hungry for Christ. I want a spiritual mentor and accountability partner. My mom helps and that's good but she's stuck in the same predicament as I am. To be honest, I feel that we go to church to preserve my father's image and he's a family man and godly. He's become stale and I think he goes to this church because he has a role and title. He asks us to come to the Baptist Church with him but to me, it's a facade. We argued about this time and time again and he still doesn't care or understand. He says we can do whatever we want when we leave his house.

Surely, there is nothing wrong with finding a church that can meet my spiritual needs. I've told him many a time that God doesn't care where I go to church as long as their foundation is the Bible.

My dad is a spirit-filled man but of late he's eyes have been closed and he's become stale. I want him to understand.

What would you do in this situation? Jesus said to go and make disciples and grow in the faith. Not go and present facades. In the end, when we stand before Him,  He's not going to say well done good and faithful  (insert title here), He's going to say well done good and faithful servant.

I'd like to hear what you have to say.

Thank you.


You are asking me to help you argue about which church you should attend when it appears I would disagree with the teachings in both churches. For example, you mentioned praying in tongues. That is something Paul specifically said would come to an end. What is called "tongues" today is not the tongues of the Bible. See:

You really don't understand the Holy Spirit if you think that doctrine (which means teaching) is contrary to the Spirit. "These things we also speak, not in words which man's wisdom teaches but which the Holy Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual" (I Corinthians 2:13).

The problem is not that the Spirit's teachings are stale. The Bible is 2,000 years old and it is just as relevant today as it always has been, but that is because God's teachings are eternal truths. The real problem is that both groups are not teaching the full doctrine of God found in the Bible. For example, in the church your dad attends, they use titles -- something Jesus taught against. See:

I agree that we are to make disciples, but disciples (students) of whom? Get back to the Bible and follow the truth. This isn't about finding the church of your choice, it is about attending the church of Jesus' choice.

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