Hard Words
by Doy Moyer
Somewhere along the line, our culture has been convinced that insulting people is the way to win others to their way of thinking. Harsh words that disparage intelligence coupled with character-destroying insinuations have become embedded in our arguments and disagreements. This is the way of the world, a path lacking grace and mercy that can only lead to further division and hatred.
In leading up to the point that we need to take on the mind of Christ, the apostle Paul argued, “Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose” (Philippians 2:1-2, NASB95). Notice the terms: encouragement, consolation, love, fellowship, affection, compassion, joy, and united. The Spirit produces these. How could this be accomplished? The answer is given: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).
The mind or attitude of Jesus is what we aim for (Philippians 2:5), which was demonstrated by His self-emptying act of dying for us. And as John would say, “We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren” (I John 3:16).
As children of God, we are to speak with grace (Colossians 4:6), love (Ephesians 4:15), and kindness devoid of bitterness (Ephesians 4:31-32). In return, we don’t revile or insult when such is hurled at us (I Peter 2:21-23). Jesus is our example of this.
I know there were times Jesus spoke more harshly, calling out hypocrites for what they were (Matthew 23). Yet Jesus knew hearts in ways we do not. He can judge what we are not capable of judging. Be very careful when trying to justify hard language, especially that which is graceless and insulting. We can be direct and straightforward and still be respectful.
We can do better, can we not? I can, and I intend to. If we have arguments to make, make them without rancor and insult. Whether talking with unbelievers or fellow saints, we gain nothing by harsh rhetoric that requires us to know the hearts of those with whom we have our discussions. Let the truth be spoken so it can do what the Lord intends for it to do, and let us avoid speaking in a manner that gets in the way of that truth.
