A Former Mormon Missionary on How to Reach Mormon Missionaries

by Darryl Smelser

Today, I happened across a YouTube video produced by a former Mormon missionary and former Mormon believer. He spoke about the trauma his Mormon faith and specifically his 2-year mission put him through. I'd like to share an observation of his. Not from the video, but from his comments to me.

I commented on the video, asking him if he had any observations on how best to reach those young men when they come to our doors and how to help them see the fallacy of the Mormon system.

He replied to me as follows:

"I don't think you can. It has to be a personal journey, and they will be unable to look at it honestly until their nervous system feels safe enough to do so. I doubt that will happen on a stranger's doorstep. I think the only thing you can do is show love. When missionaries face aggression or hostility, it confirms their binary worldview. When they are met with unconditional love and acceptance...even as weird Mormon missionaries, it challenges their worldview. That's what eventually broke me: kind people who weren't Mormon and accepted me regardless of my faith. It broke my brain on how the world works."

Now I'm not sure which way he's using the word "acceptance," but some level of acceptance - acceptance of a person's worth for thoughtful and kind conversation - is appropriate. And "love" is certainly appropriate (and commanded) (Luke 6:35; Galatians 6:9-10).

What broke his indoctrinated brain was kind people who weren't Mormon.

I've heard multiple preaching brethren talk about welcoming LDS missionaries into their homes, and about how quickly they "shut down" those missionaries, and how quickly those missionaries gave up and left ("They were back out the door in 15 minutes!!"). Those comments I've seen and heard have come across with a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.

I believe most of my brethren are not like that, that most of you in this group are not like that. But I've seen it multiple times, and a few of those times have been in this group. So I thought I'd share this former missionary's perspective.

Firing arguments like torpedoes can be seen as standing for the truth, but it reinforces the Mormon binary worldview that Mormons are kind and others are not. They're not leaving your door because they saw the truth and didn't know how to deal with it. They're leaving because they see you as someone in the mold of the world.

Speak truth, but speak it in the language of love, patience, and kindness; that challenges their worldview.