How do you deal with an elder’s wife’s gossiping?

Answer:

An elder is a position in the church (Ephesians 4:11). The wife of an elder is not. She is an older woman and should be respected for her wisdom (Titus 2:3-5), but this doesn't translate into authority over members of the church.

As a part of the qualifications of elders and deacons is an examination of the qualities displayed by their wives. "Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things" (I Timothy 3:11). These are not qualifications for a woman to be an elder's wife. These are a part of a man's qualification to be an elder. If his wife is not dignified, is a malicious gossip, is not temperate, or is not faithful, then the man is not qualified to be an elder. It is similar to the qualifications that list the characteristics of an elder's children. "... if any man is above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion" (Titus 1:6). If a man cannot encourage his own children to behave well and become a Christian, he isn't going to do well encouraging other people. The same applies to his leadership within his family and his interactions with his wife.

Preachers are told: "Do not receive an accusation against an elder except on the basis of two or three witnesses. Those who continue in sin, rebuke in the presence of all, so that the rest also will be fearful of sinning" (I Timothy 5:19-20). Therefore, gather your evidence. If multiple people have experienced this, encourage them to approach the elders as well. The goal should be to solve the problem, not to get revenge on the gossip. However, if the problem cannot be resolved, then it is the preacher's duty to bring a public rebuke of the elder and his wife.