Narcissist

by David Osteen

"Narcissists change partners to avoid changing themselves."

I think the word "narcissist" is way overused today, and that lots of times people using the term don't really know what it even means, but there's still an important truth here.

You could easily just switch out the word "narcissist" for "people" because we are all guilty of this on some level (at some point in our lives), in all likelihood. And you can also switch out the word "partner" for whoever (or whatever) you are willing to switch out in your unwillingness to change.

When I read this, I almost immediately thought of the Israelites in the Old Testament. God gave them a law of goodness, holiness, righteousness, and blessing, but throughout their history, they turned to idolatry again and again. They switched out their "partner" God (Jehovah) because they didn't want to change who they were (or who they had become). Easier to change someone else (get rid of them from your life) than to do the work to change yourself to who you should be.

In the New Testament, speaking of this unrighteousness, the Holy Spirit puts it this way, "For even though they [the unrighteous/ungodly] knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged [switched] the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures [Idolatry]" (Romans 1:21-23).

We don't always need to change who we are, but sometimes we do need to change who we have become. Rather than running from that, we should embrace it. The one holding us accountable (whether it be a pastor, preacher, parent, spouse, or friend, etc.) for the unrighteous or sinful person we have become is not the one we need to run from, exchange, or switch out. The one we need to change is ourselves. We need to be penitent. We need to switch out the sinful version of ourselves for the righteous version that God calls us to be!

Unfortunately, this also happens way too often with the gospel itself. Inherent in following Jesus is a higher moral calling and standard than the world (obviously). Oftentimes, people say they want the saving gospel of Jesus, but through our actions, we show that we don't want the morality that comes with it. We want Jesus as our Savior, but not Jesus as our Lord (Luke 6:46). We don't want the high standard of holiness. Not to live by anyway. And so, we switch out the gospel for another gospel. We change it. We change it so that we don't have to change ourselves.

"I am amazed that you are so quickly deserting [switching out] Him who called you by the grace of Christ, for a different gospel; which is really not another; only there are some who are disturbing you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. But even if we, or an angel from heaven, should preach to you a gospel contrary to what we have preached to you, he is to be accursed!" (Galatians 1:6-8) Mankind has changed the gospel of Jesus, which instructs us and calls us to godliness (Titus 2:11-14), in a seemingly infinite number of ways, so that we don't have to change ourselves.

It's easy to point fingers. It's easier to read a meme like this one and think to ourselves, "I know a dozen people who need to see this!" (and maybe they do) without ever thinking to ourselves that we might be the first one who needs to see this. I need to change myself, I need to repent. I may not be a narcissist, but I am a sinner. Rather than exchanging God for an idol that is permissive of my lust, passions, and sins; instead, I need to change myself. I need to not be okay with being a disciple of the devil, and instead, be a disciple of Jesus Christ, my Savior and my Lord.

May God help us all to see Him! See His goodness! Love Him and His way! May God help us always to draw closer to Him and never to switch Him out. We need Him: His wisdom, His grace, His way, His love. May I pray that He help me to see what I truly need to change in myself.