The bishop at my church has been sexually harassing my wife
Question:
Dear Minister,
I came across your website, and really like your level of maturity in the way you are advising men in such intricate cases.
First, please explain to me what was the context of I Corinthians 7:1?
Secondly, my bishop, for a long time has maintained coarse jesting with women in our assembly. Some are said to go to him and show him their breasts so he can comment whether or not they are the right size and attractive! In the case of my wife, he would ask her to plait his hair and during such moments he would bring up sexual discussions. At some point, he would say to her that he is really attracted to her, though he is married. We happen to have a common gym where we work out. In the event he is alone with her, he confesses that he can't stop being aroused leading him to start stroking my wife's buttocks and saying such things as "I love a woman with big breasts like yours."
The reason I am sharing with you all this, at the prodding of my wife, is the bad feelings I have been having about how they both have been relating. Some of the behaviors that she reported to me seem completely unacceptable. The bishop would go over to her and kiss her on the lips, sometime he would even sit on her laps, and worse of all, he would lean on her when she was doing bench presses. I got all these details when the bishop left the country. I strongly feel the need to execute Matthew 18:15 with him.
As far as my wife is concerned, I asked her as to why she would entertain such behavior. She said she had a liking for him but it never went beyond this point. As the scripture says, love believes all and trusts all. I trust that she happens to be a victim of the bishop, who is immensely full of lust. What do you advise?
Answer:
In speaking of false teachers Peter said, "For when they speak great swelling words of emptiness, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through lewdness, the ones who have actually escaped from those who live in error" (II Peter 2:18).
This man has no business being in a position of leadership in any church. He is unqualified because of his sins.
"But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them" (Ephesians 5:3-7).
His sexually touching women is also a violation of I Corinthians 7:1. "So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife; whoever touches her shall not be innocent" (Proverbs 6:29).
I would strongly recommend finding a church that actually follows the teachings of the New Testament.
Question:
Thanks very much, brother Jeffrey,
I will take this with the gravity it deserves. One more thing, as the scripture teaches in Mathew 18:15-17 "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector." Based on this offense, should I immediately bring this matter to the assembly, or should I deal with him one-on-one?
Answer:
If you suspect that this is only something that has occurred between him and your wife, which I very highly doubt, then it should be first dealt with privately in hopes that it can be resolved. However, if this has known to be happening with a number of women, then it is already public and it needs to be dealt with by the church.
