My ex-boyfriend passed away seven years ago and I still think of him, especially on his birthday, which happens to fall on Valentine's day, February 14th. I know he is in heaven, but just today something just keeps bothering me, like I'm unsure whether he is in heaven or hell. I feel like I really want to know where he is because I think of him too much.
Neither you nor I are his judge. Where he spends eternity is up to the righteous and merciful Judge of all the world. God judges not only deeds but also the thoughts and motivations behind those deeds -- something that no man can do. "Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. Then each one's praise will come from God" (I Corinthians 4:5).
Wherever a person ends up, we can be confident that the decision was fair and just. We know that if a person ends up in torments, he certainly doesn't want his loved ones to follow him. "Then he said, 'I beg you therefore, father, that you would send him to my father's house, for I have five brothers, that he may testify to them, lest they also come to this place of torment.'" (Luke 16:27-28). If he is in paradise, then there is joy awaiting in joining him there. Notice what David said about an infant son of his who died, "Then his servants said to him, "What is this that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive, but when the child died, you arose and ate food." And he said, "While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, 'Who can tell whether the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?' But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me"" (II Samuel 12:21-23).