fornication – La Vista Church of Christ

There Is No Such Thing as Safe Teenage Sex

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 21 Feb 2026 18:05:35 +0000

by Walter L. Bradley
via Sentry Magazine, Vol. 20 No. 3, September 1994

Once upon a time, in a faraway place, in a lovely little town, a problem arose that sparked a great controversy. Some small children had developed the careless habit of playing in the street. The untimely death of several children who were hit by passing cars caused a true and appropriate crisis in the community. Subsequently, a debate raged over what should be done to prevent this needless bloodshed, either entirely or at least minimize it in the future. The most "enlightened" people argued that it was hopeless to try to persuade children not to play in the street, and that the only possible course of action would be to teach them how to play in the street safely (as if playing in the street is ever really safe). Some old "fuddie-duddies" questioned the wisdom of teaching children how to play safely in the street, arguing that persuading children not to play in the street at all was practical (and had been done with considerable success for many, many years). Naturally, the "enlightened" modernist prevailed, and vigorous instruction in safe play in the street was instituted in all schools and churches.

This strategy had a most unfortunate and unintended effect. The education program was so successful that the number of children playing in the street dramatically increased, since the children had been taught that playing in the street was indeed safe after all, and of course, everybody was "doing it." Though the children did sometimes remember their lessons and play in the street more carefully, the occasional exercise of greater care by the children did not compensate for the much greater number of children playing in the street, with a tragic increase in child fatalities. When the old "fuddie-duddies" questioned the efficacy of this "play safely in the street" strategy, they were rebuked and told that an even greater effort was needed regarding the educational program.

In a few neighborhoods, the parents rebelled and banded together to insist that no children play in the street. Working together, their collective ban on street play was highly successful (though not perfect), resulting in a dramatic decrease in child fatalities. Did their success influence the rest of the city, where children played "safely" in the streets? No way! These parents were told by international authorities, Dr. Elders and Donna Shalala, that their positive results were not statistically significant, but that the current educational program would be modified to mention in passing the option of not playing in the street, as a comprehensive "play safely in the street" program is being taught. And to this day, it remains so, almost all children playing in the street as they have been taught, sometimes carefully, often not, with many tragic fatalities.

I wrongly accused you of focusing too much on sexual content

Jeffrey Hamilton — Mon, 22 Dec 2025 03:37:35 +0000

Question:

Dear Minister,

This is a little late, but some years ago, I wrongly accused you of focusing too much on sexual content. I am sorry, and I ask for your forgiveness. I have been reading your posts for years and have learned a lot. Please forgive me.

Answer:

I didn't take any offense. I hold nothing against you.

As I mentioned before, I strive to answer all questions that come in, and the unique ones are posted on the website. It is the inflow that governs the selection of topics. The articles are those that I find interesting, and I have permission from the authors to post them. The sermons and studies are those presented at La Vista and reflect my personal study. Hopefully, the result is a good mix of topics. I try to be open to dealing with difficult and uncomfortable subjects. "For I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole purpose of God" (Acts 20:27).

How do we fix our sin?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Mon, 10 Nov 2025 21:15:13 +0000

Question:

Good day

I strongly need advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years. We met in church, and we are Christians. We do everything together; we pray together, read verses together. We have a 2-year-old child, and now we are expecting again. We started living together this year because the situation I was living in at home was not nice, as my uncle is a drunk, and he hates me, for reasons I don’t know, as we’ve never done him harm. I felt that my daughter and I were no longer safe to live there. My grandmother also has no intention of fixing this, and I think she’s afraid of him, too. So my boyfriend insisted we come live with him for our safety. I don’t have parents; my grandmother raised me. My boyfriend also has no mother, but he has an absent father who’s now married to another woman.

We want to get married so badly. It is the only thing we talk about. We are both embarrassed about living together. It has reached the point where he refers to me as his wife. The problem is he doesn’t have money. We are the only Christians in our families, as our families believe in ancestor worship, which is why they insist on lobola. We both work, but we don’t earn much, as the money we make goes towards food, rent, transportation, and other essential expenses. We are content with what we have because we have a roof over our heads and never go to bed on an empty stomach. My family is constantly nagging him about paying lobola. The problem is he can’t afford it. I have spoken to him several times, asking him to get married in court or a church without their approval, so we can honor God and no longer live in sin. But he disapproves and insists he has to pay lobola because if he doesn’t, my family will never respect him.

We love each other so much, and I don’t know what to do anymore because this sin is eating me up, it's what I think about day and night, and it's stressing me because I know if we were to die today, we'd definitely go to hell. Please advise on how to resolve this, as I fear that God will not bless our marriage, even if we don’t receive blessings from our families and elders.

Kind regards.

Answer:

"Why do you call Me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?" (Luke 6:46).

Take a look at the mess you have made.

You have been having sex outside of marriage for years, even before you moved in with your boyfriend. You call yourself Christians, even though Paul said, "Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10).
You were raised by your grandmother, which tells me that you have been dealing with your drunken uncle for quite a while. But now you are afraid of him, so you decide to move in with your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend refuses to marry you because of his pride. He can't keep a man-made tradition, but to him, that tradition is more important than obeying Christ.
To cover up his shame, he lies to people and calls you his wife. God hates lies (Proverbs 6:16-19),

Keeping traditions is not wrong, but it becomes wrong when they take precedence over obeying God. You know all of this, but you don't take any action.

I want you and your boyfriend to reach heaven, but you aren't currently heading in that direction. Both you and your boyfriend need to take your covenant with Christ seriously. It is more important than your personal preferences.

If you can't afford labola, then you can't afford it. Your country doesn't require it. God doesn't require it. I understand that your family wants the money, but that is greed on their part. Why? Because there is no set amount for labola. If they wanted to, they could set it to a small amount. Go get married. Perhaps later, when you can afford it, you can have a traditional wedding. At the moment, you have nothing. And if your family respects him for just living with you, then I don't have much respect for your family's values. Marry him. Sure, your family may not recognize the marriage, but that doesn't matter. It is God whom we seek to please.

God doesn't withhold blessings from those doing His will. Are you expecting Him to bless you while you ignore His commands? Be obedient, apologize to Him in prayer for your sins, and then go on with your life. When God forgives, He doesn't hold the past against you.

Response:

Thank you so much for your response. I'll try by all means to do what is right by God.

I’ve been living irresponsibly, but I want to serve God

Jeffrey Hamilton — Wed, 01 Oct 2025 15:04:05 +0000

Question:

Dear Sir,

I am a 35-year-old single man. I am writing this with utmost shame, disgust, and remorse for my sinful and irresponsible lifestyle when it comes to the sexual department. I have been very immoral, you name it, I am entirely guilty of the sin. Whether it be masturbation, pornography, fornication, you name it, I would probably say I broke all of God's commandments. I have been a lukewarm Christian. I fear myself as I am drowning in deep sins, and I would be in and out of it, compromising the truth by practicing lies. My greatest disgusting sin is visiting prostitutes, a frowned upon sin, wasting my own money and that of others.

I have visited many of them since my early twenties. There would be breaks in between, and then it would start again. As recently as today, I met one and was utterly disgusted by how sin has brought me to this, and at the same time, I am afraid to open up as well. I cannot go on living a life like this and end up in hellfire. I want deliverance and purity. What should I do? I even told the woman how bad I was. Deep down, I have a desire to serve God and love a woman, meaning to have a wife and kids, but these sins are besetting me. Oh, what a wretched person I am!

Can you help me, please? Will God forgive me, and will God actually let me have a wife of my own? I believe with God all things are possible. What should I do to repent, and how should I repent and break soul ties? There may also be spiritual phenomena, such as spirit spouses. I know the time is short. I am inexcusable as I have been taught the word of God from my childhood, and I have heard of holiness and purity. The coming of the Lord is nigh. I still haven't found my purpose, and I fear the dreadful day of the Lord. I, like Esau, gave up my birthright for a morsel of bread. The Bible says God hated Esau, so please tell me what I should do to be included in the Lamb's Book of Life? Please pray for me as well

Answer:

While you claim to be a lukewarm Christian, you haven't been living the life of a Christian. You have allowed your body to control your actions. The pleasures of the world have been more important to you devotion to the Lord.

The problem revolves around your desires. You want the benefits of being a Christian, but you avoid the effort. No one can force you to desire the Lord; you have to choose that for yourself.

If you are serious about changing, then the first step is to make sure you are truly a Christian and not just claiming something you haven't done. See "What Must I Do to be Saved?" and "How to Become a Christian."

Regarding your old life, you must make radical changes, so radical that your family and friends will think that you've lost your mind. Get rid of all your contacts with your sinful lifestyle. Get rid of all your "friends" who were a part of that lifestyle. Stop any drinking or drugs that you may have been using because you need a clear mind to serve the Lord. Start making it a daily habit to study your Bible each day -- whether for a half-hour or an hour. I recommend starting with Proverbs (see "Proverbs: Practical Advice on Life"). From there, study the Gospels (see "The Gospel Accounts: A Chronological Harmony"). Put what you learn into practice.

When you are tempted to sin, ask yourself what is driving you to want to sin. Then, find something righteous to do instead that satisfies that desire but doesn't involve sin.

What kinds of sex are included in Leviticus 18:22?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 27 Sep 2025 15:56:13 +0000

Question:

According to Leviticus 18:22, "Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable" (NIV).

My Question: Is it oral or anal sex, or something else? What if the person is a transgender woman, meaning male to female?

Answer:

"You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination" (Leviticus 18:22).

The phrase "one lies with" is used in the Hebrew text to denote the sexual actions that typically take place while lying down. All sexual behavior between two people of the same gender is forbidden. For a detailed list, see "What are all the types of sexual sins?" Since two males cannot physically have intercourse, it directly implies that anal and oral sex and mutual masturbation are under consideration.

Transgenderism is a form of deceit or lying. It is a male pretending to be a female (or a female pretending to be a male), going so far as to have surgical alterations and using artificial hormones to change the shape of the body. A transgender female is still a male. A transgender male is still a female. Their DNA is evidence of this. See "What Does the Bible Say About Transgenderism?" Regardless of pretending to be a different gender, having sex with someone of the same gender remains sinful.

How do I repair the consequences of my sin?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 00:31:54 +0000

Question:

My girlfriend and I (both from Christian families in the same denomination and church) made the grave mistake of having sexual relations. We sincerely repented before God and asked for His forgiveness, but that act created in me a deep conviction that I had joined her as a married couple before God. My most sincere desire is to marry her and make amends for our mistake by honoring God.

However, our relationship fractured due to a conflict with a friend from church. My girlfriend felt insecure because she said this friend was overstepping her boundaries. At first, I tried to mediate to keep the peace in the church, but I made a mistake by not prioritizing my girlfriend's protection and safety. Ultimately, I distanced myself from the friend because I chose to; she didn't specifically ask me to.

The situation escalated horribly when my girlfriend's mother physically threatened this friend on the street after seeing us walking together (we live nearby, and it was a casual encounter). The friend's family responded with a complaint and a restraining order, so now they can't attend the same church.

I went to tell my girlfriend what happened. Hurt, she told me I didn't know how to take care of her and that I allowed things to happen. Her family accused me of being a liar and told me they didn't want to see me anymore. The friend also distanced herself from me because she believed I didn't support her, when what I was arguing was that, as believers, we should have taken the conflict to the pastors, and not to the secular courts first.

Right now, I'm devastated. My relationship is over, there's a serious division in the church, and families are at odds. But above all, I love my girlfriend, and my greatest desire is to marry her, to repair our sin, and to build a marriage that honors God.

Pastor, my central question is this: According to God's Word, is it His will for us to get married? I understand it's not a legal "obligation," but do you believe it's the path of wisdom and redemption God would want for us after what happened? How can I proceed to try to restore this, if I must?

I don't know what to do. I know I need to grow in wisdom and discernment. How can I show that I've changed? Is there any hope for reconciliation with her and her family (who are believers, and her father is a pastor)? What is the godly path to follow when the conflict already involves the authorities? I am willing to accept your advice and submit to pastoral guidance.

I wholeheartedly appreciate your time and guidance. I need wisdom from above to navigate this situation.

Answer:

Sins can have consequences beyond what you might expect. Consider the consequences that resulted from David's adultery. Many of them you would not expect to have resulted from an affair. But his sin set in motion a series of events, much like dominoes.

Your sin is not the only one that occurred, and that is making it difficult to sort matters. It is hard to think clearly when you continue to remember your behavior. Therefore, let's try to separate some of the problems. One of the points that I'm not clear about is how many people know about you and your girlfriend's sin.

For example, your girlfriend's mother acted out of jealousy on behalf of her daughter. She knows her daughter is upset, and it is possible that she leaped to the conclusion that her daughter was upset because you were seeing another girl. If your girlfriend is too embarrassed to tell her mother, then her mother would feel she is in the right, even though she sinned. People forget that they are not allowed to take personal vengeance.

If your girlfriend's mother did know what happened, she still would have acted out of jealousy. She would be furious that you had sex with her daughter and then were soon with another girl. However, I would normally expect the mother to direct her fury at you.

The court order was simply petty on your girlfriend's mother's part. It was wrong (I Corinthians 6:5-8), but you can't undo the wrong that other people have caused. The division in the church will have to be settled by the elders of the church.

Your fornication did not create a marriage or an obligation to get married. (See "Must I marry the girl I had sex with?") Fornication is a selfish act. I'm glad that you want to marry this girl because you feel responsible, but understand that it is not enough to make a good marriage. Girls often give in to the pressure of sex as a way to keep a boy interested. However, afterward, they discover that it doesn't make the relationship more stable; it causes instability. There is an awkwardness because you both remember that you did what was forbidden. There is a lack of trust because you proved that you lack self-control. It even creates a possessiveness where you think the other person should be bound to you. You show it by wanting to marry her. She is showing it by her jealousy over you noticing any other girl.

You tried to settle the problem between your girlfriend's mother and the girl you knew. What you found out is that Solomon was right. "Like one who takes a dog by the ears is he who passes by and meddles with strife not belonging to him" (Proverbs 26:17). Grabbing a dog by its ears is a good way to get bitten. In the same way, getting between two arguing people who both think you are interfering will get you attacked by both sides.

No one knows what someone else is thinking unless he lets you know what is on his mind. For the same reason, we only know the portions of God's will that He chooses to reveal to us. "For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God" (I Corinthians 2:11). There are far too many people who claim to know what God is thinking, but all they express are their own thoughts. "I have heard what the prophets have said who prophesy falsely in My name, saying, 'I had a dream, I had a dream!' How long? Is there anything in the hearts of the prophets who prophesy falsehood, even these prophets of the deception of their own heart" (Jeremiah 23:25-26). No man can speak for God. People can only talk about what God revealed in the Bible.

God desires that people marry. You marrying your girlfriend would not be against God's will. However, to claim that God wants you to marry this particular girl goes beyond what God has said. The decision to marry is made by the man and the woman. You wish to marry her, but she is currently letting her emotions sway her into deciding that she doesn't want to marry you. You can't force her to decide to marry you. All you can do is tell her that you still love her, but if she doesn't want you, you will regretfully move on to find another woman.

Do you have material on restoring young people who had committed fornication?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Wed, 20 Aug 2025 21:53:27 +0000

Question:

Good day,

I am looking for resources to restore young people who have fallen into the sin of fornication. Do you have any lessons? Do you know of any books or pages?

Thanks a lot!

Answer:

There is a ton of material on the topic of fornication on this website. I selected a few to get you started.

What is fornication and why it is wrong:

Stopping fornication:

That former fornicators can be forgiven:

Dealing with excuses as to why the couple can't get married, even though they want to do so later.

Was it God’s will that I didn’t know about my husband’s sins before we got married?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Tue, 22 Jul 2025 17:57:28 +0000

Question:

Greetings!

I am reaching out to let you know that I think the Answers to Questions section on the church's website is an invaluable resource, and I appreciate the very direct and truthful responses. The following are some questions that have plagued me for years, so I thought I'd pass them along and get your thoughts.

So here are my questions (many of them in one)...

Are the wife and children that come later on in someone's life alternative, default, or backup plans, or place fillers in the man's life for the girlfriend and aborted child he had that came first (before his wife and children within his marriage)?
Which is more important and takes precedence in God’s plans for us when you have both in someone's life and do things out of His designed order: a child and the Imago Dei doctrine, regardless of how the child was created (example: out of wedlock, as a teenager, etc.), or marriage and a future marriage and children conceived within it? Does one trump the other? Are these two things mutually exclusive when you have both in someone's life? Or, are they not, and the order in which they transpire translates to which was the original plan (the first girl and aborted child being Plan A, and your wife and the children you have with her being Plan M, Q, S, X, Y, or Z)? Was the original plan for the child to be born out of wedlock, and was the mother the first?
What practical implications can be concluded regarding what God’s original plans were for us when we use our free will to do things out of order?
Could it still be God's will for you to marry a particular person even though you've created, or have, children with someone else? If so, then why give children to people whom God knows aren't going to stay together to have a nuclear family to raise that child within, and given that God designed children to be raised in families with their parents?
Does your spouse only become “the one” for you after you’ve officially married? Can God not have “the one” for you before actual marriage, and even if you've created children, albeit "unintentionally", with someone else? Should “the one” for you be the first person you get pregnant so that that child stands the best chance in life and can have a shot at an intact family raised by its parents?
Although soul mates are not a biblical concept, is it plausible that God is indicating who He wants you to be with if there's a pregnancy involved, even as a teenager? (The only reason my husband and his girlfriend didn't keep the child was out of inconvenience and immaturity, and to hide the consequences of their sin.)
Does God have multiple or alternative plans or purposes for our lives?
Which woman does God intend for you if you got one girl (the first one you had sex with) pregnant outside of wedlock, then went on to have multiple sex partners between her (the first girl) and the one you eventually married in adulthood and had children with?
Is intentional and effortless deliberate deception, before and during your relationship and marriage, about your past to your spouse, on the same level as other sins like abortion and premarital sex?
Do the ends (having a marriage and a nuclear intact family) ever justify the means (abortion)?

As you can probably discern, I am the married woman in this scenario and was only given a thin, superficial, glossed-over version of my husband's past before I married him. We have been married for nearly twenty years and have several biological full-blooded children. Anyway, I look at these circumstances, the lesser of the two evils would have been for him to keep his other child at 17, that the buck stopped there since we are not to murder and kill our own children, and that our three kids and I never were the original intended plan for my husband's life. I would have never married him if he'd had a child when we met; I would have never married him even if he and she had had the child and placed him or her for adoption. I have only been given the full, true version of his past within the last five years, and had I known everything before we got married, I could have appreciated it all, and I would have never married him.

The humiliation and disgrace (retroactively and presently and for our future) and lost time and warped and distorted narrative of his life and ours together, will last a lifetime; trying to put back together a true narrative of his life and ours together piece by piece is a spiritually, relationally, sexually, mentally, emotionally, maternally and individually painstaking process.

My husband said he believes God has forgiven him for his past, so he didn't need to tell me anything about it. He thinks that the only thing deceptive and betraying he's done to our children and I and our marriage and family is that he didn't tell me everything before we got married so that I could make an informed decision about my life with him and that the actual acts with other women and girls didn't betray me, our kids or his future marriage and family with us since he didn't know us. He gave himself a pass to deceive and lie to his bride for years and thought God was fine with that. We are in heavy counseling, individually and maritally. Our marriage counselor (who is both a pastor and psychologist) says our children and I are not a backup plan because we have free will, but I'm not convinced and have no peace about it and know that my husband is taking for granted what the Bible says about God being involved in all things, creating life, etc.

Thank you so much for your time. I know I'm just a random woman reaching out across the miles, but I appreciate any insight you might be able to share.

Sincere and continued thanks!

Answer:

If I understand correctly, before you married your husband, you were aware that he had a past of sin. However, he changed, and at that time, you accepted his transformation. I assume at some point he either became a Christian or repented and made significant changes in his behavior.

If correct, then he was justified in leaving the past buried. "My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins" (James 5:19-20). However, instead of rejoicing in a restored life, you want to hold his past against him, just like the elder brother in the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32). To claim that you are humiliated and disgraced only tells men that you are unforgiving (Matthew 6:14-15). You are more focused on appearing perfect than being pleasing to the Lord.

Sex does not make a marriage. See "Doesn't sex create a marriage?" Having a child is a consequence of sex, but having children also doesn't make a marriage. Marriage is the covenant you made with this man before God (Malachi 2:14). He only married you, and from what I've gathered, he has remained faithful to his vows.

You seem to be confused about God's plans for you and your husband's life. It is a bit long, but I would like for you to go through "What Is God's Will for Me?"

God's will for every person is to be righteous. "For this is the will of God, your sanctification" (I Thessalonians 4:3). Consider what God told the Israelites in the Old Testament: "Now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require from you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways and love Him, and to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the LORD'S commandments and His statutes which I am commanding you today for your good?" (Deuteronomy 10:12-13). It is more than just what we do; God is also interested in why we do things. "With what shall I come to the LORD, and bow myself before the God on high? Shall I come to Him with burnt offerings, with yearling calves? Does the LORD take delight in thousands of rams, in ten thousand rivers of oil? Shall I present my firstborn for my rebellious acts, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?" (Micah 6:6-8). What God requires is obedience. "For I did not speak to your fathers, or command them in the day that I brought them out of the land of Egypt, concerning burnt offerings and sacrifices. But this is what I commanded them, saying, 'Obey My voice, and I will be your God, and you will be My people; and you will walk in all the way which I command you, that it may be well with you'" (Jeremiah 7:22-23). This hasn't changed. "Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and whoever loves the Father loves the child born of Him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and observe His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome" (I John 5:1-3).

To accomplish His goal for us, God teaches us what to do. When we follow those instructions, we escape the corruption that is in the world (II Peter 1:2-4) and we become complete (II Timothy 3:16-17). However, God does not force us to follow His teachings. He expects us to choose (Joshua 24:14-15; I Kings 18:21; John 6:67-68). Your husband made some really bad choices when he was young, but he changed. You made better choices, but now you want to destroy what you have by going against God's teachings.

"But what do you think? A man had two sons, and he came to the first and said, 'Son, go work today in the vineyard.' And he answered, 'I will not'; but afterward he regretted it and went. The man came to the second and said the same thing; and he answered, 'I will, sir'; but he did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?" They said, "The first." Jesus said to them, "Truly I say to you that the tax collectors and prostitutes will get into the kingdom of God before you" (Matthew 21:28-31).

"But if the wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed and observes all My statutes and practices justice and righteousness, he shall surely live; he shall not die. All his transgressions which he has committed will not be remembered against him; because of his righteousness which he has practiced, he will live. Do I have any pleasure in the death of the wicked," declares the Lord GOD, "rather than that he should turn from his ways and live?" (Ezekiel 18:21-23).

There is no "Plan B" or any other alternative. Your life and your husband's life are not mapped out in detail. God laid out the rules in the Bible so that you can live holy. The choice you must make is whether you bend your will to God's will.

The Truth About Sex No One Tells You

Jeffrey Hamilton — Thu, 10 Jul 2025 16:01:40 +0000

by Dr. K. N. Jacob
via Facebook, 6 July 2025

Sex is powerful. Sex in marriage is priceless - don’t trade depth for thrills. Casual sex often leads to pain, confusion, and heartbreak. Casual sex chips away at self-worth. Affairs destroy families.

Premarital sex often masks incompatibility. Sex blurs red flags, rushes commitment, and complicates breakups. Many stay in toxic situations because of physical attachment.

Waiting builds connection. Waiting grows self-control and self-respect. Couples who wait tend to communicate better, argue less, and form stronger bonds. Delayed pleasure deepens trust.

Know who you’re dating. Study the heart, not the hype. Build a bond before sharing a bed. Date slow, dig deep. Don’t let culture rush you. Sex is not a handshake - it’s a soul exchange.

Sex was designed for depth, not drama. Casual sex clouds judgment. Set boundaries. Avoid staying over. Limit private time in tempting situations. Focus on values and emotional connection.

"All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body. Now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through His power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, 'The two shall become one flesh.' But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body" (I Corinthians 6:12-20 NAS95).

Am I able to return to God?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Tue, 17 Jun 2025 01:39:04 +0000

Question:

I'm in my 30s. Last year, I decided to become a Christian. I'm in the "doctrine," but I haven't been baptized yet. When I decided to become a Christian, my family turned their backs on me. I only had the support of a sister and her husband, who preached the word of God to me.

At work, I met a non-Christian. I moved in with her shortly after I decided to become a Christian. A car hit me and broke my ankle. God saved me from death. I'm still recovering from that incident. Being disabled for a month, I stopped attending church. Then the husband of my friend, whom I was living with, raped me. A medical examiner confirmed that I was raped.

After the rape, I told the brothers who preached the word of God to me what happened. They told me that I could stay and live with them. Shortly after I moved in, I decided to fast because I sought healing. I have epilepsy, and I know that God is the only one who can heal me because He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to pay for our sins and illnesses. On the second day of fasting, I had intense seizures. My face was bruised, and my vision turned red. I began to feel nauseous and vomited blood. I was afraid of being pregnant because of the rape that had happened less than two weeks prior.

I was unable to continue attending my church. I rested and recovered. When I decided to return to my church, I twisted my ankle, and I couldn't walk. The pastor advised me to rest for a month until I had fully recovered. I feel like I got cold and moved away from God during my absence from worship.

A few days ago, I had nowhere to stay, and a friend paid for a room in a hostel for me. He approached me and kissed me. I fell quickly and returned his kiss. We ended up having sex.

Now I'm unsure if I'll be able to return to God's path, if God will forgive me for what I've done, or what I need to do to be able to return to His path.

Answer:

It sounds like life has been really difficult for you. I'm sure there are numerous details that you left out, but what I notice is that you seem to be too trusting of men. I assume that the woman's husband took advantage of you being on pain medication. He should be turned over to the police, though I understand that in some countries, the police are not helpful in rape cases.

It wasn't proper to move in with some men from the church, even though they had your best interests in mind.

It is late to say this, but fasting is not recommended for people with epilepsy. The lack of food and the probable reduction in fluids can affect the dosage of the medication you are supposed to be taking. See "Fasting and Epilepsy."

I don't know why you no longer had a place to stay, but clearly, the man who got you a room was doing so to have sex with you. I'm sorry that you couldn't resist the temptation.

With God, it doesn't matter what your past was like. He is interested in who you are. "But if the wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed and observes all My statutes and practices justice and righteousness, he shall surely live; he shall not die. All his transgressions which he has committed will not be remembered against him; because of his righteousness which he has practiced, he will live. Do I have any pleasure in the death of the wicked," declares the Lord GOD, "rather than that he should turn from his ways and live?" (Ezekiel 18:21-23). However, this means you need to take responsibility for your choices and change your behavior. You need to think through situations and consider where certain situations might lead. But most of all, you need to submit to God's will and be baptized (Acts 2:38; Romans 6:3-7; I Peter 3:21). Where you came from doesn't matter, it is where you are going that is important.