When Major Projects End

It might seem strange, but one of the most unstable periods in a marriage is when a major project comes to an end. By a major project, I mean some activity that has consumed years of your time: the building of a house, the raising of children, the completion of an advanced degree, or retirement from your job. These activities consume much of our time. We talk about the progress made and we make strategies for the various future contingencies. In short, all we talk about as husband and wife is “the project.”

Yet all projects eventually end. One day it is over and you look at your spouse and you have nothing to say. The relationship has revolved so tightly around “the project” that you find yourself facing a person whom you no longer know. Years have passed and you no longer know what your spouse’s goals and aspirations are.

You need to make time for your marriage. Projects cannot be allowed to become all-consuming, so take breaks. Get away for a weekend or a week where just the two of you can enjoy each other’s company without thinking about the projects on which you are working. Even when you are home, make sure you give time for just the two of you. Keep Paul’s advise in I Corinthians 7:5 in mind. While he was speaking specifically about sexual relations, other relations within the marriage need to be worked upon so that the union continues to operate smoothly.

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