Lesson #2

Train the Young Women to Love Their Husbands and to be Submissive (Titus 2:4-5)

by Barbara Roush

In Genesis 2:18 and the following verses, we learn of God's original role for women. God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." In this lesson, we will have the opportunity to understand better God's purpose in designing a woman to be a helper for her husband. No woman can ever have complete fulfillment in her marriage if she does not keep God and His will for the Christian wife close in her heart. With the word of the Lord, the Christian wife can become a tower of spiritual and emotional strength toward which her husband may turn for help.

Priceless Instructions

In Proverbs 31:10-31, we are given instructions that are more priceless than gold.

"A good wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant, she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and tasks for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She girds her loins with strength and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
She makes herself coverings; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers girdles to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates."
(Proverbs 31:10-31 RSV)

The teaching in the Scriptures can help us become this kind of woman. God's plan is for us to love our husbands and be in subjection. In spite of the Woman's Liberation Movement, God's word reveals no change. The happy Christian wife finds the joy of God's plan for her and her husband.

Husband and Wife Relationships

The next few minutes will be spent examining God's word to help us identify a wife's relationship with her husband. All the Scriptures are found in the New Testament and cover the physical, mental, and spiritual aspects of this relationship.

1. Matthew 19:4-6 and Ephesians 5:31: Man and woman become one.
   1. How and when do they become one?
   2.  Why does Matthe 19:6 say they should not be "put asunder'' (i.e., permanently separated)?
2. I Corinthians 7:3-5: Sexual relations.
   1. What are conjugal rights?
   2. Does the wife have control over her own body? Why?
   3. Should a wife ever refuse her husband? Explain.
   4. What reason does Paul give for abstaining from sexual responsibility?
   5. What causes either partner to be tempted?
3. I Corinthians 7:10-11: Separation.
   1. How long should marriage last?
   2. Should a wife separate from her husband? If she does separate, she has only two choices. What are they?
      1. First:
      2. Second:
4. I Corinthians 7:13-16: Unbelieving husbands.
   1. Should a Christian wife leave her husband because he is not a Christian?
   2. What is the obvious purpose of staying with the unbelieving partner?
   3. How is an unbelieving husband consecrated?
   4. What about the children of a Christian and an unbeliever?
   5. Is the Christian obligated to try to stay with a nonChristian mate who insists on separation?
5. I Corinthians 7:39; I Timothy 5:14: Widows.
   1. May a widow ever remarry?
   2. If so, to whom?
6. Hebrews 13:4: Love and honor.
   1. How do we maintain love and honor in marriage?
   2. What is a defiled marriage bed?
   3. What are the consequences of a defiled marriage bed?
7. Ephesians 5:22-24: Submissive relationship.
   1. To whom should the wife be submissive?
   2. Are we submissive to the Lord if we are not submissive to our husbands?
   3. What does it mean to have the husband as head of the wife?
   4. How can the wife help her husband take his place as head of the house?
   5. Should a wife be subject to her Christian husband in everything?
   6. Colossians 3: 18. To what does "fitting in the Lord" refer?
   7. Might there ever be a time when a Christian wife would have to disobey her non-Christian husband? Discuss Acts 8:9. (Consider Matthew 10:34-39.)
8. I Peter 3:1-2: Victory through submission.
   1. What is another reason for a wife to be submissive?
   2. What is an effective way by which a wife can win her husband to Christ?
9. Ephesians 5:33: Respect.
   1. How does a wife show respect for her husband?
   2. How does a wife show her respect for God?
10. I Peter 3:3-6: Submission and respect.
    1. How did Sarah show her respect for Abraham's authority?
    2. Does this mean she was submissive?
    3. When are you a child of Sarah?
11. I Corinthians 11:7--9: Glory to whom glory is due.
    1. Who is the glory of God?
    2. Who is the glory of man?
    3. Why are we the glory of man?
12. Through love and submissiveness, we will grow toward a spiritual maturity that will enable us to have the qualifications that will allow our husbands to serve the Lord more fully. Let's read I Timothy 3:11. These are the qualifications for the wife of a Deacon or an Elder.
    1.  List the qualifications.

"Let what you heard from the beginning abide in you. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, then you will abide in the Son and in the Father" (I John 2:24).

From the beginning, we see God's plan for women was for her to love her Maker and her husband; this will be reflected in her submission to both of them.